Monday, July 7, 2014

Dealing with and Understanding Meltdowns *Link*




Through out life, those with differing brain wiring or genetic composition, have to assimilate for the majority. Some issues simply need more awareness, preparedness and understanding. Take meltdowns... The following link is extensive and crucial. I could not have written/ expressed and explained meltdowns better myself nor am I going to attempt to.  

I have been accused as manipulative, bossy, controlling or harshly grumpy when I was simply in the throes of a genuine meltdown and doing quite well considering. I also can come across quite witchy when overwhelmed. The following link impressively covered every kind of meltdown and the reasoning behind the brain’s reactions without boxing anyone up.

One of my children bawls his eyes out often thinking he is a mean person…when he is the nicest, truest, purest heart I know…he just has lots of meltdowns and is still learning about himself. This link is VERY important to read for engaging with anyone who is Neurodiverse. Meltdowns tend to happen with differing genetic conditions and different brain wiring too:


Highlights taken from the above link at inneraspie:

 "I can list a few different general types, and triggers so that you might be able to gather some info from here to possibly compare to your own situation. One thing that I heard once from a behavior specialist is that a meltdown is like a seizure in that you cannot stop one once it's started. You can make one worse, and you can prolong it's effects, but once the brain has reached that tipping point it is over. You can't unspill the overload, which is is to me what a meltdown is. It is an acute reaction to too much happening all at once, in which the brain has no way to cope, or contain. The excess must go somewhere. From what I can gather there are three main categories of meltdowns. Sensory, Executive functioning mishaps, and Emotional."
***
"Sensory: This is probably the most common. A meltdown caused by too much sensory input can be sudden, and out of no where, or look like a pot slowly about to boil over. A noise that barely bothered the person last week suddenly seems to push them over the edge this week leaving everyone confused, at best, and accusatory (as in viewing the autistic person as if their reaction is geared towards manipulation) at worst. "
***
"There's so many factors that play into this type of overload that it is hard to even catch it all here in this paragraph. There are some noises, and sensations that always overload some of us, and there are some that we can tolerate if we are having a good day. There are some that we can tolerate for awhile on a good day, and some we can tolerate alone, but not mixed in combination of other sensations. Sleep, hunger levels, and something as simple as one tiny routine change, or confusing social encounter that day may all lead up to usually tolerable sensory experience being intolerable.
That subject is too involved to add to this entry, but the only 'way' they're trying to get is for the sensory climate to change. It's a matter of self preservation, which is not the same as a child throwing a fit for a candy bar at Kmart. Allow the person their human right of being overwhelmed, and expressing that. The more you learn what induces meltdowns the better you can help the person who is having them avoid situations that they will likely occur, and the more you respect the person having one the more safe they will feel sharing with you what they need. The autistic person needs to trust that you will keep them safe, and that includes their sensory system."
***
 " He is 12 now, and is pretty good at dealing with surprises, and typically is more flexible than I am at handling routine changes.I must note, I was brought up in a chaotic environment where no consideration to my need for sameness was ever given. Any upset that I may have expressed over wanting something to be the same, and planned out was viewed by my parents as manipulation, and they would purposely withhold whatever it was I was requesting to show me I 'wasn't the boss'. I cannot explain how much damage this did to me anxiety wise. Please, don't do this."
***
"If you are with an autistic person when their routine suddenly changes be calm. Don't try to explain to us how we're being unreasonable if we begin to get upset. Calmly, and kindly let us know what our options are. How can we proceed? We need to know that, and sometimes need a minute to process it all. Try to warn us of any changes way ahead of time. Respect that it is hard for us to process change at last minute."
***
"Also, please be as consistent as you can..... Odd as it sounds, too much happy can also cause meltdown, too. It is an emotion after all, and too much of it at once can be too overwhelming for us at to process. I find this kind of positive overload to trigger a meltdown that occurs after the event that made the autistic person so elated, happy, or joyful."
***
"Meltdowns should never be punished. Ever. This includes taking privileges away via behavior charts like color cards, ect. Children typically do the best with the skills they have. If they're hitting others, and such behaviors that typically means they need to learn a better coping skill, or need support in their current environment that they currently don't have access to. I see this a lot, and it really, really upsets me when parents punish their child for basically being autistic. Usually, I hear the parents tell them they 'need to make better choices'.When this happens they miss an opportunity to teach them how to advocate for themselves, and learn important coping skills. The child learns their well being doesn't matter, and that they can't win. Finally, meltdowns happen. In my opinion, it's part of being on the spectrum. Learning how to deal with them when they happen can mean the difference between having a small hiccup in our day, and having an all out total chaotic mess that leaves everyone  totally exhausted. You cannot reason a person out of a meltdown, so please don't try. We know we are out of control, and not making sense. There is nothing we can do about it while in the middle of a meltdown.

Please journey on over to this link and read the rest of the wisdom:
http://inneraspie.blogspot.ca/2014/06/helpful-guide-to-understanding-meltdowns.html


*To see more thoughts on Autism/ Aspieness click on the Autism/Asperger's label below or Sensory posts ( I have written about the process of sensory overload in my Halloween and Thanksgiving posts:http://worldwecreate.blogspot.ca/2015/11/explaining-sensory-sickness-and.html http://worldwecreate.blogspot.ca/2015/10/sensory-overload-on-holidays-like.html)







This is by Samantha and SO good for Aspergirls. I would highly recommend for any who wish to understand women and autism to listen while doing chores or watch during downtime:


6 comments:

Full Spectrum Mama said...

HUGE thanks, as always. I particularly appreciate the categories; unfortunately, I think I fall into all three ...hhahahhahahahaaa.
Not funny.
;)
Love,

Full Spectrum Mama said...

HUGE thanks, as always. I particularly appreciate the categories; unfortunately, I think I fall into all three ...hhahahhahahahaaa.
Not funny.
;)
Love,

Kmarie Audrey said...

:) I think I prob fall into all three sometimes too. My children def do...but sensory is the worst trigger for all of us I think in general:)
Meltdowns are tough and exhausting...esp for the person who is doing the meltdown because we are sort of aware what is happening but we can't stop it. Sigh. Yea the link was amazing! I need to read it again! I sent it to all the family that deals with my kids...because if I don't advocate for understanding who will in regards to them?:) I am constantly advocating and its really tiring and takes me out of my comfort zone but I believe it will make the world more understanding for the future...and we need to hear the actual perspectives of Autistics more often because we are up against ableism and prejudice...even from the professionals who are trying to help. Its a fine line to walk at times...and I DO appreciate the professionals at least trying but some of the info out there is still misleading and incredibly degrading and ableist...Anyway, tangent...thanks for commentating!

Full Spectrum Mama said...

It's my pleasure. I love you blog especially because it shows the thoughts of a bighearted Mama!
I think it's great that at least now we can begin to kow what is going on. I never understood why i would feel as i did and lose it...
!!!!
Now, for a world with no triggers and safe places to REST.

Full Spectrum Mama said...

May I link to this post please Kmarie?

Kmarie Audrey said...

Of course:) Link away:)