Systemic Racism and Discrimination; Accusations or Narratives? Chaos or Order? Make Room and Take a Deep Breath.

In the midst of a storm the rocks hold steady. Rocks can sometimes be slippery but more often than not, rocks are a foothold or can provide a safe haven. Sometimes we have to hide in a created cave for a moment, not forever, but to have time during the harshest part of the storm to formulate a plan. We need to think; to BE. Instead of immediate reaction, we stop for contemplation and time. Before conclusions there is a time where we must dig deeper, ask question after question, search for context and truths. Justice on all levels demands context. There are all kinds of thoughts, personalities, stances, politics, religions, beliefs, and emotions in the world because there are all kinds of people. We need them all. It should go without saying that the exception to this is pure evil. 

The reactive to those who choose wrong have their place, but if we, live in a reactive stance constantly we lose out. If we, as individuals change how we are our best selves in conflict; By best I mean BEST- where we try to be fair, kind, firm, however we show up whether it’s an introverted versus extroverted expression of wisdom or a certain perspective etc. and instead show up how the world tells us how to show up, we lose a bit of our greater I AM. If we jump on the majority movements or get swept away by an ideal/ stance at the cost of whom we are and the relationships we care about, we lose out on so much more than ourselves.  We lose out on the focus being on care and love and replace it with general agenda in the name of compassion instead of compassion itself. If we lost the freedom to BE by restricting what we disagree with, we will be lost and create more chaos. We must always ask questions. We must always look for the full story. 

We must have personal interactions before reactive ones. We must LIVE our story/truths. We must tell our stories - be it a minority one or a majority- and we must listen. It’s always both. Life is ever the paradox; nature and nurture. This earth can be a crazy place full of chaos, which can be both beautiful and disturbing. The other side of the coin is order, which can also be beautiful and disturbing. Acknowledging these facts does not give evil a free ride.

 “...Always being prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” 1 Peter 3:15

 Sitting in a place to breathe it becomes easier to listen. We can give gentleness and respect. In order to create proper justice we need to be centred and grounded. Then our change will have roots. 

We can change the world as water does. One droplet at a time... carving even in stone... influencing the cycles, becoming part of all beings of earth. Context and stories, and individual interaction with individual interaction matter, living our best lives in our communities and families and teaching those in our care, change the world. Be water or be stone. Be air or fire. We need ALL of the elements. Some of us are more one than the other. That is needed. But first take a breath. We are all in this together. 

To those who struggle with words, mutism or expression your silence on situations is not betrayal. To those who act instead of speak, your silence is not betrayal. It's simply different not less. Sometimes the very concepts we believe we are fighting for, like everyone to be validated, heard and treated as different but not less, are negated with our loud voices. What you can do is LISTEN to the stories. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 

If you can, tell your stories in personal contexts and gently on your own platforms. Make your space, online or in person, accepting and celebrating of differences while also focusing on the common aspects of humanity. This does not mean you put up with terrible behaviour to you, no matter what difference it comes from, or oversteps on your boundaries. But it does mean you do not discriminate in your places that you protect based on something people ARE.

Context and stories, individual interaction with individual interaction, living our best lives in our communities and families and teaching those in our care, change the world. Be wary of the statements that include "ALL" or "EVERYONE" or "ALL (insert country, colour, brain difference etc.) Have been trained to do this..." or "This bias applies to everyone.” Be careful not to become (as Nietzsche puts it) the dragon you are fighting.

Justice also requires an examining of all the facts. It needs both science and intuition. This is why we have a system of courts. Sometimes they fail us. Sometimes we need to find our voices and write in for change but more importantly BECOME the change, within ourselves. If we are to speak on a circumstance with ‘all or nothing’ language though, it is crucial that we find the root cause and don't blame an entire race or group at fault. That is also a problem. 

Unfortunately, there is racism which is a form of evil and a travesty for all of us who BELONG in the human race. Whomever you are, no matter your skin colour, ability, sexual orientation or any other “difference” from the majority or minority- you are valuable and worthy simply because you exist. You are God Breathed. You were created and God uttered “very good.” You are of incredible value. 

But currently, in our cultural climate I hear many, including Caucasian people saying that ALL white people are racist. That statement, in cognitive therapy, would be labelled as an "all or nothing" way of thinking. Life is rarely "all or nothing" and if we are stating such, it means our biases are ALSO showing. We forget that there are white people or whole groups like the Ukrainians whom have experienced centuries of oppression, slavery and inequality. While this should not negate the slavery of any other people group, is it not partial and slightly manipulative to only focus on one? Most cultures in society have their injustices. We must face our biases but not at the cost of making more of them. If we are worthy because we exist, then we have to acknowledge the innate worthiness in each individual.

“You should not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.” Exodus 23:1   How can we not be malicious in our causes? That takes work. We all have biases. Personally, I know there are biases I have grown up with. Some are in line with a minority stance while others are in a majority. I don't feel it's fair to take one look at me and tell me where my privilege and biases are. It's like stating that a disabled person is incapable, simply because they do not have the same sort of movement as most people. I shy away from the loaded word of privileged because it is now an emotionally loaded word with large amounts of bias. I believe there are many forms of "privilege" in the sense of ...there are many ways we grow up. Some are impoverished while others are rich. Some experience injustice due to skin colour while others experience it due to acting differently (and their brain difference is invisible but it still comes out), while others experience it in the from of learning differences but expectations staying the same. There is health "privilege" too and often we can be blind to these things until we either experience them or if we are friends with someone who does. It's not a one size fits all...and sizest is another way it can happen physically ...or in age... there are many, many ways prejudices are committed every day. Let's not determine our value off of other people. If we follow Divinity/ God’s/ Jesus’/ Spirit’s narrative we will look at each person AS THEY ARE. “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

When we actually take the time to know someone, we can then engage in dialogue, be open to corrections and growth with grace, and that is where the heart of change begins. We live in a broken yet beautiful world. We have all been born with a concern of that which looks different, talks different or walks different. That's the basic survival of ALL people- no matter the colour. It's not racism in that fact. It's difference. Now what we DO with that, that is what determines an act of racism or not. We must acknowledge our differences before we can truly accept another. For instance, I am autistic - which is very important to state in some medical instances as a difference to acknowledge and I don’t consider it a bigoted act for someone to acknowledge or notice my difference- however discrimination against me due to this is a whole different matter. I am indeed privileged to be a Canadian and multiple other “I AMs”- I accept that. However, we all need to check our biases- especially before we assert that someone else is racist or bigoted without witnessing or knowing them.

When did we learn to identify so much with what others do or do not have? Be it skin colour, cognitive wiring, abilities, or even lesser comparisons on social media etc? Where is the rationality in this kind of living and how does it make a better person and society?

That does not mean the problem of racism and discrimination does not exist. Many of our current laws should be reassessed. To create change, we can petition, write letters, and read stories of those whom are suffering. Some laws are ableist, ageist, racist and health biased. The justice system is intrinsic to well being and we need to advocate for change. But when dealing person to person, it seems best to get to know each other before we slap on labels of bias or pushing an entire societal dialogue. Unfortunately this demands a lot of time, contemplation and critical thinking...which many people are unwilling to do even if they want change. But to dive into context requires it. We also have limited resources and some of us have our time taken up by grief, our children or differing circumstances and that is ok too. When we have time, we can give it. When we do not, we can still live our best lives.

Do not be ignorant of the sad, heart-breaking prejudices and injustices. But, if we sum each circumstance up in an entire category and react, we cause more death, pain and injustice. Sometimes even to the very minorities that we are fighting for. Did you know that in many of the marches and protests in 2020/2021 small businesses of those struggling in the very same race, were damaged victims of the violence? In the collective mass mob mentality, emotion becomes the underlying motivation, causing chaos and violence. We need the fire of emotion. Sometimes it is the first thing to start change. But then we also need the ever-changing perspective of water. Layered on top is the flexible air of justice. And the strong earthy firmness of boundaries becomes our foundations. 

 Be water, fire, air, or be stone. But first take a breath. There's a time and place to be loud but if a whole culture does so, we can sometimes forget that the quiet ones activate as water. We need calm in a crisis because it gives room for breath. I have been in the room with grief and injustice. There was wailing, which was appropriate, but there was also me, standing there for that person like a quiet rock. Later, a witness told me I was cold and had no feeling. But they were standing outside our context. The outwardly expressive person later told me my stance was her sanity. Ironically, her expression was also my sanity, showing what I could not at the time. We need both. But if I see a culture going one way, my typical MBTI INFJ paradoxes will want to ask for the counterparts. I can only be me. You can only be you! Both are worthy because they ARE.

Unfortunately, one of the largest miracles the MYSTICAL I AM has done is that there are not too many miracles. Otherwise most of our choice would be taken away. Because Divinity is capable of so much, I can only imagine how tough it would be to allow people to BE. But yet we ARE. Personally, I would want to control in the name of compassion and become ( as Nietzsche states) the dragon I am fighting. Thank goodness I’m a fallible human being and not a god. Yet, I do think The Universe works in little miracles, within the natural order of things, every day. Too often our eyes are not open to see the little intricacies, timings, and whispers of love, during even the toughest of circumstances. When we tell our own stories, change begins. When we make the places and homes we have inclusive to welcome, change begins. When we accept ALL in the places in which we have the power to create acceptance, change begins. It starts in us, in every choice. We WILL make mistakes. We need to have a narrative that gives grace to that whole, and boundaries that help us stand firm in our growth. Can we make room for all? We need all the elements to live.

Take a deep breath. BE. “Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and said to them, “Peace to you.” Luke 24:36

This is the deeper reason why I do not hop on many trends, social justice movements, or get involved with current rhetoric. That is not to say that some of these things will not be noble and true for others. We each must weigh our knowledge against our experiences, contexts and souls.  Calming breaths of context save lives. Contradictory terms can be held together in unity. Support systems create aid. Sometimes I can go mute. I get distressed and say the wrong words often. Then I find myself trying to make peace, giving an explanation or apologizing. Sometimes I have a lot of words. I am called “Too much” or “miss verbalization.” I am making up for all the worlds swirling in my mind that I could not express outwardly.  I’m going to be both confident in my stances and suffer low self-esteem sometimes. I am going to both live with misery and joy. And that makes me human. That makes me alive. I refuse to be policed by friends and family just because I say words that they feel are not culturally appropriate yet are not from any mal intent. That is my personal right as it should be for all. Challenges in context and with kindness are entirely different matters. I don't love conflict, but I’ll dive into tough conversations. I will apologize for hurt caused if I see it or if it is asked of me. I will also try my best to live in integrity and kindness. I always felt like an alien and still often do, but I know I’m also human ... And that’s where we are the same and what I try to focus on while still telling my story and celebrating and respecting our differences. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentles, self- control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Sam/ Marcelle expressed this aptly in a facebook post she once wrote; “I have my own opinions, views, faith, morals, likes and dislikes, passions and disinterests, causes and silent moments, concerns and values. I have respect for other’s opinions, views, faith, morals, likes and dislikes, passions and disinterests, causes and silent moments, concerns and values, But my respect does not equate to agreement nor support. I choose to lead with kindness, engagement, and love and my personhood is expressed through the way I behave, react and connect…”

To be clear, I believe in equal rights of humanity, which is different from treating everyone the same. Emotions and hype can cause the lack of distinction between equality and inclusivity. Inclusivity means that a physically disabled person is NOT held to the exact same standards as an abled person…and if they are, with the knowledge that they are in fact, superseding expectations and going beyond the stamina and ability of the abled. It means that we treat each other as equal BEINGS on this earth, but we also give and take depending on each individual person within the collective. Inclusivity means we are worthy together because we exist together on this planet together. Below is a lovely poem by Rudyard Kipling.  Keep in mind this was written at a time when women were treated differently. In this day and age the last few lines would include women. As with anything in its context, I have learned to translate, and in that translation into our own times, much wisdom can be gained.

When we tell our stories change begins. When we make the places and homes we have inclusive, and welcoming to all- change begins. When we accept ALL in the places in which we have the power to create acceptance, change begins. It begins in us, in every choice. We WILL make mistakes. We need to have a narrative that gives grace to that whole, boundaries stand firm for growth. Make room for all. Take a deep breath. Be. We need all the elements to live.

If...
By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son! 

Song Choice: Don't Forget to Breathe- Anson Seabra

We're all in this together- High School Musical

Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson