Thursday, September 26, 2013

On Young Marriage and Glee (Love, Love, Love)

I love September when I can indulge in my regular shows...Glee being one. This is going to be a serious post, sort of, but first a disclaimer... I used to be embarrassed about the fact that I like Glee but C'mon- it's brilliant sometimes. I'm a music junkie, so yes, the originals are often better. But thanks to Glee, teens actually know who the classics are! I would rather watch clever re- enactments of my favourite songs and have controversial subjects brought up in irreverent ways at times than watch Zombies pull guts out. It's just how I roll. Each to their own. On Glee the poignant can be randomly mixed with the profane (Sue Sylvester) but sometimes there are words that would not be found anywhere else on TV BUT Glee. (Spoiler Alert for those of my audience that are actually interested in the show. I don't think I will spoil much though, because from my demographic, I'm guessing mostly none of you watch it:)

The writers did a beautiful job in this conversation with Kurt and Burt Hummel:

"I really love Blaine. He makes me feel so safe and connected and so loved and I don't think I will find anyone else who is gonna make me feel like that, but we are both so young."

"Well, your mom and I met when we were 22 and I asked her to marry me 6 months in.We were just kids... It was really hard at first... You go into it with all of these fantasies of what your life together is gonna be like. Nothing but Laughing, dancing around in your underwear, cooking pasta, sex, a lot of sex. It's hard being married though. It's hard enough being in your twenties."

"Do you wish you waited?"

"Not for one second more. I wish I would have met her ten years earlier. I didn't know then I was only gonna get so much time with her. That she was gonna leave us so soon. I would take 50 more years of late night fights about me working late, or the gas bill, or her letting the milk go bad for just ten more minutes, with her, her next to me... we only get a few days when it comes down to it Kurt, you know that better than anyone..."

Those lines are similar to my own story. I don't regret one single minute of the tears, pain and all. I LOVE that I KNEW at 17 that I was going to marry the one that made me feel safe, protected and loved. We are happy eleven years, two miscarriages and three children in, and even if we break up in the future (God forbid) or something goes massively wrong, we had our moments. We had the fights over fuel/water bills and working late, but we also had the precious time. And that TIME meant the world.

The show has a point...Twenties are hard regardless. Some of us are destined to do it alone, others need someone with us. It makes it harder and easier in different ways. We do what is what we feel we need to do. TV, heck,the world! does not support teen marriage or early marriage (let alone a double minority of young, gay marriage.)

Marital success and wise life choices depend on the situation, but regardless, young love could use a little more support. Maybe if couples had more support and successful portrayals of the good and the bad, there would not be as high of a break up rate? Maybe, just maybe, those stats are a little misused? Marriages break up often, regardless of age. It depends on LIFE, on circumstances, on support, on personality, on communication and dedication. Thank you GLEE for once again fighting for the underdog. Finally, I got to see my life choices promoted in a positive way. I'm sure something will go wrong on the show and young marriage won't happen. Already critics are critiquing, but it was beautifully done and I am grateful. My husband and I, we started young. We just knew when we met near the end of grade twelve in separate schools that we should travel together through the rest of life. Because of that bravery we bought some extra time and we got to fall in love, over and over again, through some extreme life changes. Choosing each other at 17, despite the grief almost everyone gave us, was worth the battle. In this life and into the next, we hope to keep rekindling that kindred love.

Marriage sucks sometimes. I don't want to say it was/is all beautiful. Sometimes I want to throttle him, but of course, I refrain, and listen to Pink sing about my feeling instead. As Pink aptly croons, "Sometimes I hate every stupid word you say, sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face. There's no one quite like you. You push all my buttons down but I know that life would suck without you. At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck, your an asshole but I love you, and you make me so mad I ask myself, why I'm still here, where could I go? You're the only love I've ever known but I hate you I really hate you so it must be true love. Nothing else can break my heart like true love."
That about sums it up in both the beautifully eloquent and the profane...True love. My husband and I have a passionate relationship...sometimes a little boring too...but it's ours and we are together...making the suffering that is inevitable in every decade, both a little worse and a little better.