Saturday, December 12, 2020

Stories During Covid-19 - Painting a Picture and an INFJ Approach

Important: In this post I am quoting other people's experiences and stories during Covid and the many views presented. Due to the volatile times we are in- I am keeping their identities anonymous.  This is not a cut and dry topic. There are so many differing stories...Could they all be true even though they are different? Why do we doubt one over the other? These are just the few LATEST of the MANY differing correspondences I receive. Some are local, others are global perspectives. 


" I have sadly been dealing with several deaths of my older friends (fondly called the Ancients in our circles)  right here in St. Louis.  I have lost TEN friends and acquaintances from back in NYC...old professors who would NOT stop riding the subway, and caught the virus from that contact, so we surmise.  Have dealt with that (including retrieving a body from one of the meat trucks used to house cadavers in the early days of the wave that hit NYC by PHONE.  Had to get one of the prisoners who were loading the dead to go into different cold trucks and find the toe tag of the "lost" elderly chum.  That way was able to arrange for him to be buried privately as he had planned, and NOT in the mass graves dug in one the islands in the NYS harbor."  It is like living on the edge of hell.  The two ancients here caught the virus."

"Covid has been deadly for people.. and in the beginning they mistreated lots of people thinking ventilators would help ect. when it was hurting some. Also saw stories of nurses saying they watched doctors literally not care and kill people ( in New York) just making stupid human errors."

"Thanks Kmarie, for your good wishes. I am glad that you and your family is safe. The situation is very difficult indeed. We are also confined to home and people are also fined for stepping outside home ( beyond 2 kms). My husband is still working from home. Schools, educational institutions are still closed. My brother had 50% salary cut at first and finally, lost his job as our nation's economic situation is bad right now yet slowly recovering. Situation improved a bit but after major festival season ( in October- November) many people went out in crowds to celebrate and it led to more spread and contamination. Shortage of hospital beds, medical facilities and added pressure/ risk on healthcare workers forced our government to take strong steps and introduce some regulatory measures."

"My mom has worked on nursing homes for the past twenty years and she says every year they loose almost half of their residents from common cold or flu because end on life even the simplest things ones body can’t handle. My mom said that this past year has been so hard on the residents and she has seen SO much depression and quick regression with dementia patients because they aren’t getting that family support they desperately need. She said people are dying very sad... she has called residents family members and told them that their family members are close to death and that if they actually want to be with them for the last days they needed to pull them out and have them at home because of covid protocals for a long time no one was allowed to see their families."

"I  think we are at the point that we all know covid can be dangerous... now it’s up to the individual to live in a way that is authentic to them.. if you are wanting to stay closed up then stay that way... of you need to socialize and others are willing then socialize. Ect."

“I had covid and while it was minor for many of my friends I am grateful for the nurses who knew to give my oxygen and helped my body fight. I am so thankful for healthcare."

"Yes, there are a lot of factors. Some nurses were laid off too, early on. And then they also close a whole unit with one positive case, so they have staff assigned to that unit only, which makes them unable to help out in other departments. Where I think staff are being overworked is probably in LTC homes. The cleaning and having to gown and mask up thoroughly between patients is probably taxing. Then again, some care homes the people are being totally neglected, so it's so hard to say what is really happening."

"Some people say "my friend, or my sister, or someone I know works as a nurse in Calgary/ Edmonton and they are swamped"! The thing is the hospitals are being poorly managed, as usual. Covid has made it worse than normal,  but by no means are hospitals overwhelmed at this point yet in many cases. At least in my area it is still pretty empty. Despite what the news says."

"As a practicing nurse, I can not say much for fear of my job but I will say that many of these protocols are damaging at the least and some things are being mis- reported."

"I can’t even speak this side without being completely censored but I am seeing discrepancies in health care. Those of us whom want to both be careful but the individual needs of our patients have many concerns."

"It’s very scary...there is deep division happening with a lot of stuff right now. It boggles my mind how the side that is pro v*ccine isn’t capable of looking at the other side. Good science would require you to do so and science is never settled." 

My note on this- Think back to the "Science" and ads in the 1950's when they said "abestos" is healthy for the home. Where would we be if the scientific process of questioning and challenging was not in continuous motion? Think of the bloodletting for fevers...There are so many examples from history where it was clearly wrong but the ones who called it or questioned it were seen as occultists, crazies or not worth listening to. Until later it was proven and considered mainstream and those people were still not thanked as they moved on to questioning other aspects. See picture below:


"My general mindset is that I firmly believe in lockdown and quarantine protocols."

"I consider myself far left but yeah, I don’t doubt that’s what’s going on, but I think we are being distracted by blaming it on either side.There are many videos and cases of this. Two sides of the government are at war right now- especially here in the States but it seems to be a global pattern."

"So much suffering. A county near us has had 10 suicides already this year and they rarely see suicide. There is no easy way to say a life is more valuable over another. I’m not sure that came out right... like is the life lost to suicide less worthy then the life lost to covid ?... I think we are going to look back on this historically and we are going to grieve and see the wrong steps that where made in the name of “health” and “preservation.'"

These are just a few examples of the myriad amount of stories and perspectives (within only my circles!)  at this time. It is NOT cut and dry. We are not all in the same boat. Some of us are dealing with similar aspects or protocols in certain places but even the virus affects different people differently. Luckily, with a 99.9 survival rate, it is much better than many other instances in history thus far. The deaths are still sad, as any deaths are. The risks are still real. But I hear many people summing up the tragedy of 2020 as strictly the year. Or that ultimately Covid is the problem. But what if it is ALSO how we are responding? What if it is our protocols that also make each death in isolation so tragic? What if...since the rates are low for certain populations to die...what if we allowed those healthy populations the CHOICE to see their dying loved ones if they washed and wore a mask but knew the risks? What if we allowed the elderly their visitors IF they decide the risks are worth it for them? Some will and some will not. What if we made it easier for those who choose to stay isolated indefinitely because they do not want to chance it? What if we didn't force testing on anyone presenting colds ect but those who are severe or needing different medical help? What if we supported the body and gave people the knowledge on how to stay home while sick, but be their best selves with the best chance of beating it? What if, we only mandated protocols on the places that actually had problems staffing their hospitals and allowing this to change? Many hospitals that are swamped initially then become empty...what if we went with more of a flexible flow approach? Of course this is way more complex but what if we chose to not guise fear as "protection." Fear leads to many wrong calls. We must not makes choices out of fear but out of balanced, contextual accounts.

Personally, my personality as an INFJ will naturally challenge and question protocols - it's what I am born to do ( see memes below.) It's why I am not popular but fine with it. It is why certain friendships of mine ebb and flow depending on the agreeableness of current events. (If they agree mostly they like me questioning but then a few years later if I am questioning the side they take then obviously this won't be the most favourite trait to them:) It's also why my friendship group can vary dramatically and why I can maintain friendships that are opposing in almost all of their viewpoints. Sometimes it hurts feelings that I can be friends with someone on the opposites side of such an important standard to someone. It can come across as fake or a sort of duplicity...but it's honestly that I see validity in both and can relate in different manners. I understand that it's tough to understand. INFJ's make up less than 2 percent of the population which is a good thing. It is just enough to have people out there that do what I do ...as it is needed too...but not enough to drive the main populace which would probably spell out disaster. I have INFJ's who completely disagree with me on certain things so we are not all the same in what we question. The meme below is true that I often question my own sanity due to the accusations that can be thrown my way or the people I sometimes lose in the process. But I also need to still grow, challenge and BE.



I don't believe that my way is the only way. Or I have all the answers...far from it. The more perspectives I see, the more questions I often have. For my own sanity, I do come to a few of my own conclusions but I never force them on others. I do however, get severely irritated at those whom refuse to consider at the very least. Or acknowledge there ARE other repercussions, ways to live, or ways to BE. In any political, social, emotional, physical or spiritual ways of being people in ANY mindset can still afford to flexibly consider the other. 

I am so lucky to have the friends that I do...recently I told a friend about my latest blog post and warning her that it may be upsetting for her but explaining why I wrote it...she wrote back; 

"Ok dear. I will try to focus on your blog posts which addresses general topics and ignore the ones which may elicit a strong response from me. I will focus on our friendship instead and all the common things that we shared and not where our opinions are opposite/ different. Take care, 💕💖"

If only we could resolve some deeper issue with that much grace. If only we could address contextual differences honestly but then focus on the similarities for the healing part. Because differences MATTER. We are not all the same. Our medical history is not the same. Our reactions to vaccines are not the same. Our ability to wear masks are not the same. Our beliefs are not the same. Our toleration of being alone are not the same. We NEED to make different choices. But where we are the same -are our hearts to prevent pain where we can, protect those we love, honour the grief of those who are different, and be in gratitude for those who can make us feel less crazy about our differences.  Maybe then we will be a little bit more tolerant of the outliers, rebels or the followers or sheep ( whichever side we feel we fall on more although we all have a bit of each in us.) 







11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Those are great personal stories to see various sides of the issues. And I also question most things, and have a similar personality. Thanks for your thoughts and memes.-M

S said...

Totally agree:) I hope some others who struggled to appreciate others perspectives on this, will take a moment before judging after reading this.

S said...

I agree with the spirit of this post. I understand your intentions, your perspective and your situation. Not everyone comes from the same place neither have similar conditions. As a result, their reactions would vary. But empathy is the thread that holds us together. I may not agree with you ( not about this particular post but about our life choices in general) but I agree with your right to dissent/ disagree. I agree with your own choice if you choose to do something different from me. Even if a different voice emerges from a very small group of people whose life or death may not impact the majority, we have to listen to them. Every voice needs to be given a patient hearing. In fact, the rule of law, the court judgements- everywhere we see this. Healing and kindness are moral concepts but without knowledge and ground information ( By knowledge, I don't mean logic or knowledge of science only but the specific situations & examples of people which may vary) it might be difficult to practice kindness. For instance, it may be easy to be kind to my own folks but not to others who oppose my view or whose situation is opposite to me. Nowadays, conflicts are on the rise because of that. The opposing views are rudely cancelled. We don't want to hear anything. It makes us angry, anxious and uncomfortable. So, I believe that the only way out is to listen. Practice listening to what others are saying and then thinking about it later on , trying to empathize if possible. And if empathy is not possible, then at least, take a pause and agree to disagree in cordial terms. However, this becomes impossible if we lack emotional intelligence or understanding. Some people don't have that and they may create conflicts in relationships.
Covid 19 has created major fault- lines in society which again forces us to question whether we can rise up from our struggles and co- habit with each other peacefully like before. Unfortunately, people are now highly suspicious of each other and therefore, it is important to find your community and stick together. A sense of belongingness ( and by that I DO NOT mean agreeableness) with some differences is much better than none at all. This is what I strongly feel inside.

Kmarie said...

M; I do believe you are an INFJ so that makes sense! Yes I think hearing true stories balances things out. It makes the “conspiracy theorists” sound more based in anecdotal evidence to certain degrees but it also make the “mainstream narrative” have facets of truth too - so then we see that it’s not so cut and dry.

S; ha that’s the hope! If only we would stop judging!

S; so true that empathy is the thread that holds us together despite differences. Exactly! Yes , we will never fully agree with everything about everyone - it’s impossible and if we are agreeing fully with all those in our life then it’s time to ask some serious questions about ourselves;)

Oh I love your whole paragraph on agreeing on things and being patient with those that don’t. It’s rich with insight and truth.

You are right - we go a bit batty if we can’t have a level of belonging and I love that you separated that from agreeableness. I always appreciate your comments and you always had immense depth to the post . Thank you

S said...

I thank you too for your feedback.I too get important insights, depth of thinking and an alternative/different perspective by reading your posts, so many perspective that I may not be aware of. Hope our respect and kindness towards each other stay this way forever :) take care, dear friend.
Will be waiting to read your future posts

Kmarie said...

♥️I hope so too. ♥️ I feel very lucky and grateful to have you in my life. ♥️ You take care of yourself too and cheers to our respect and kindness forever 🥂❣️

Ashe said...

Howdy! :)

Loved the storm analogy! The "all in the same boat" thing never felt quite right but "we're all in the same storm with different boats" works quite well.

I presently work at five hospitals as my main post and have worked at a eight others since all this started, and I'm happy to say that I'm starting to see visitors allowed and the nurses acting perfectly natural about it. "Alrighty, I'll need you to put on this mask and wear this gown and leave this item behind and right this way!" just as perky and chipper as you please, and a few jokes traded between the nurse and visitors about trying to put the protection on correctly. I think with proper understanding and reasoning, we can finally develop good protocols for airborne diseases to limit spread but allow compassion.

I believe black and white positions take up a very small percent of the colour/tone/tint/shade spectrum and most things exist in the places between, on all subjects. While my life has been relatively unchanged, I don't doubt some of the horror stories floating around. Logically, they are potential variables with an issue like this microscopic creepy-crawly. I haven't dealt with any, but I do feel sympathy for those who have.

I do think a lot of the hype is just politics and manipulation, I am very mistrusting of any authority figure or "expert", and I do think a lot of unnecessary harm has been caused out of stupidity, panic, laziness, or plain malice, but I don't mind being respectful to an individual who wants to keep their distance or take other precautionary measures, even if they're just over-reacting and don't have a reason to worry like a more vulnerable person (or somebody who interacts with the vulnerable). Any disease can be disastrous for certain people of the population and it's good to go ahead and get comfortable working with limitations. I'm hoping this has been around long enough now and raised enough questions we can proceed with a rational, balanced approach and understanding toward this and other diseases. And never stop questioning so as to keep things improving, of course! Complacency breeds chaos, and not the good kind.

Honestly, I'm counting on the anti-vaxxers right now to question the hell out of the Covid vaccines and dig up data on it. Usually my spidey-senses don't tingle over vaccines, but my gut is saying "bad". I know you know how concerning it is when your spiritual intuition is tapping you on the shoulder. In the long run, I'm not opposed to a vaccine, but right now it feels way, way too rushed and dangerous.

Hope you and yours are doing well! Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, and have a great Yule!

Kmarie said...

Hey Ashe!
Yea I preferred that analogy too.

Wow! Five hospitals! that is crazy! I am glad the nurses are being like that there- right now we have worse restrictions than we did the entire time and it is illegal to gather with anyone outside your household..for Christmas too. People are getting fined being in others vehicles without masks and neighbours are telling on people…I have been unimpressed but I hope it gets to that point for us again as we were living in freedom and fairly low cases for months. I agree to limit but have compassion.

Yes! Agreed. There are so many elements.

It is. Manipulation by the media. Politics elsewhere…deep division. Me too. I agree to be respectful but have a balanced approach. Complacency does breed chaos! Thank you for that point.

I am hoping the truth will come out for that now…Its a crazy quick shot when it took years to get one for so many other things…I dunno about that one. Regardless I can not take it due to my autoimmune and having a previous almost deadly reaction requiring hospital help ( but then they put it on my chart as co incidence even though my rash started from the site twenty minutes after…so I dont really trust them anymore) But I do rely on the majority to get it so that there are not forced ones so people like me can stay alive and actually have a choice!

I agree with intuition too and my senses are on red alert for many aspects of our current situation. Also trying to make the best of it though and live our best life! Ooo yes Solstice/ Yule is coming up and I am excited! Happy Yule to you and Merry Christmas too!

Ashe said...

Heheh, just 1-5 hours per facility. Not that bad. All I do is box up some used devices for recycling.

But, dang, that's some strict laws, and the tattling isn't much better. I'm not all that impressed either. I wonder how long it's going to be before America starts getting that stiff. With the division, fear-mongering, double-standard laws (I love practicing karate, but, seriously, if we're that at risk, why are we exempt in gyms and sports places??), and some people trying to take advantage of things to pass really wild laws, I'm not feeling too comfortable these days.

Witchcrafted Life said...

One of the things that has struck me poignantly for some time now is not only the importance of everyone having the right to their say (whether it differs from our own perspectives or not), but just how extraordinarily lucky those of us who have - thank the stars above - made it this far are to still be alive in the midst of a global pandemic and thus keep putting our very voice out into the ethers of existence.

While I don't think that 2021 will be a wildly better year than this one, I do remain realistically hopeful that the pandemic may draw to a close and that, all things willing, far fewer souls are taken by it next year before that happens (assuming that it does happen, that is).

Autumn Zenith 🧡 Witchcrafted Life

Kmarie said...

Ashe; you are right! Those are strict laws but ways around them safely in some places:) our town council members discussed and stood up to them and took their verdict to the police saying they will comply with masks and hand washing but police showing up to fine on Christmas or safely in our own homes is not right. I was very proud to hear that!

Autumn; oh yes so very true! I hope we can get this to Cosy less overall . Yes being able to even speak is an honour and also a duty. Our stories are important. We are alive. I hope that many of us will get better in the future!;) lovely thoughts indeed. Xoxo