Monday, May 26, 2014

Aspergers/ Autism is A Neurological way of Being- It does NOT cause Violence

Friends and family tend to shelter me from any news about Aspies/ Autistics committing crimes or being accused of doing them because of their neurological difference. I usually find out anyway, and it's a form of deep prejudice to decide that a crime is based on a neurological wiring. It's like accusing a different race of more crimes...when really demographic, environment, and deep motivation matter more in the long run. All people are in need of help at some point, unfortunately some do not recognize this need themselves and bad things happen. 

People who have "no friends" or are "quiet" tend to get the brunt of accusations in shootings or acts of violence, even when the same acts in history have been committed by people with "many friends" and of whom were "extroverted." It's easier to blame some sort of quirk or point out the less social norms for a reason than to realize that bad things happen to good people or that sometimes something snaps, or that there is not always a clear motive. Susan Cain's book "Quiet"(link) goes a long way in stopping the myths that quiet people are the violent people. Assuming quiet people are the future violent people is another prejudice stereotype that does no one good.

Since I am Autistic/ Aspie I wanted to "normalize" Aspergers/Autism...because there are so many misunderstandings of what it means to be an Aspie/ Autistic. The fact is that sometimes we DO need more help in life in some daily activities due to sensory overload or anxiety or depression or dyspraxia or ADD (each Aspie is different in these traits), however, we give back to the world in ways that are inspiring, artistic, genius, and encouraging in many ways. It's ableist to assume otherwise.

The ways we give back to the world may not be as obvious in day to day life but study a list of renowned Autistics and you will see the varied unique ways we contribute. Like some NT's (not on the spectrum or normal people) there are some violent Aspies...but it is rare, especially considering the population of Aspies as opposed to NT's and the percentage of violence in both categories. The stats speak for themselves. We do have varied forms of meltdowns but most are not meant to harm anyone. In general, Aspies give to the world in unique, funny, refreshing and original ways. We would not be communicating on computers without Aspies. Nor would we enjoy many philosophical debates, beautifully written prose, or humorous antidotes without many Autistics. I feel this must be said because of the recent judgments and misconceptions that have been given to Autistics/Aspies. 

It is very rare for an Autistic to not be safe, innocent and pure of heart. In the news we hear the horror stories but most often, there are other factors at work that should be exposed.  Typically these horrid situations involve tumultuous upbringing and lack of support. But it's easier to blame a difference then look at all the many factors that went wrong. The very stats speak for themselves; the number of Autistic people that commit crimes in the overall population of Autistics versus the number of Nuerotypical people that commit crimes in their overall population makes the issue stunningly clear. Autism does not create violence. In any population group, there will be issues but in general, the Aspies I know are trustworthy, kind and considerate. If an Aspie, Introvert, Extrovert or Nuerotypical commits a violent act there are always other factors involved and the wiring of their personality should NEVER be blamed or feared. I do not fear Neurotypicals even though I may not always understand them and they should not fear Autistics. Introverts should not fear Extroverts and Extroverts should not fear Introverts for possible violent crimes. These are ridiculous judgements.

Please check out this post of Famous Aspies, many who had no violent tendencies and contributed positivity to our world (again there are exceptions in ANY people group and these exceptions could be blamed on many differing attributes or causes.)

My heart goes out to all the victims of the many crimes around the world, both hidden and publicized. Every day women, children and men are killed intentionally. Some we hear of, most we don't. My heart grieves for the travesty and for the families of both killer and victim. I can't justify violence in my soul or heart. To me it makes no feasible sense. I long to heal the world and I hope by doing my part that I can at least make a little haven of peace somehow in the world I help create.

All any of us can do is be responsible in looking after our own, in this world we help create. You are responsible to be the change you wish to see in the world. You can only do your part and hope to god that mercy and grace will prevail in the end. Always hope but remember that we must make our place better and that change starts within ourselves.

Wishing you peace and healing today;

NOTE: Autism can cause sensory issues or anxiety which can cause meltdowns and outbursts. If there is violence it is due to an environment or something not being addressed with the person- not the actually neurological wiring. Violent outbursts can happen but often are a result of additional issues that need to be solved. To see more on meltdowns click here:

This is by Samantha and SO good for Aspergirls. I would highly recommend for any who wish to understand women and autism to listen while doing chores or watch during downtime:

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Embrace- The Documentary Creating Global Change for Women and Body Size

To the Ladies of the world:
Please take one minute to think of one word that describes your body… the first thing that comes to mind…
You know what I thought three years ago?

You know what I thought with surprising delight today?
LIFE GIVING (So it's two words but you catch my point:) Do you know how I got to that conclusion and through that transition? By being a whole heck of a lot heavier than I currently am and by struggling for years with my body image. Being what the world teaches is NOT ideal taught me something valuable; I am the same person regardless of weight and my body SERVES me. I am also the same soul regardless of health, although I prefer to have health, but when I don't have it- I STILL matter. I have to honour my body by being healthy but health is subjective to the person. For instance gluten is poison to me (low grade celiac) but may be your body’s fuel. I feel better because my body is no longer being poisoned and I went off all FODMAP/SIBO triggers and a LARGE part of feeling better was investing in Naturopathy, but even if I would have stayed at the same weight and been on this lifestyle change, I would be celebrating because I am no longer making hospital visits. THAT is the difference. I changed my goals from beauty to health…and sometimes health CAN be obtained in MANY weight categories and in MANY beautiful different shapes. Luckily, I had a health issue that could be changed, but many do not, and health is not the ultimate either, LOVE IS.

We all have different rules for our bodies to feel the best they can be…I thought this future documentary idea was SO interesting. Please check it out. Share it, help GAIN perspective…because sometimes gaining is the most contented thing to do (and this is coming from someone who is losing.) I am the same person at any given weight or look. I was beautiful before and I am beautiful now because I believe my essence is beautiful. I believe all women are beautiful. If I don't believe it about myself- what am I believing about other women? What matters is if my body is the vessel that I love through. I hope more women get that message so we can pass it onto our daughters…check out this three minute preview here (Warning: a few tastefully done nude images):

The beauty in our foods, our wines, our fruits, our chocolate, our words, our children, our round bellies that carried our children or that transport us from one place to the next, our hips that spread and became more to let life out or our bodies that expanded while we LIVED...why do we not see this purity of creating? Why does this cause embarrassment or shame and why do we as women cause these double standards with the men? Why do we shrivel and accept by the way we live everyday?

 However you are; skinny, robust, curvy, loud, shy or inward or outward...WHATEVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE WORTHY because you EXIST. That alone makes you beautiful.

My friend Hillary Rain* summed it up beautifully:
"I love thinking about our flesh as living art that changes and matures and shapeshifts, softens, strengthens...You could write a book on this, truly! Honouring the body by choosing wise foods, wise words, wise places to spend your energy, wise's all about reframing and pursing life."

Love your vessel today. Don't pursue beauty (although beauty can be part of life in delightful ways that are contrary to current cultural belief.) PURSUE LIFE. Love, LOVE, LOVE...including yourself and your vessel in this life!

Let's create change together.

Posts like this covering controversial Women's Issues:

Love never felt so good!

*Links to Hillary pertain to a time period in her life when she was on a different path. Sometimes her links do not work due to a Hiatus. She is on a completely opposite journey that I am on currently. I do not endorse some of the beliefs held from anyone I cite. However, I will forever be grateful to Hillary for some key awakenings in my life when our paths met. And we may meet up again. She is a beautiful soul regardless of stances. I hold to this for anyone I cite.*