Thursday, March 15, 2018

Explaining the phrase; "INFJ; If I Cut you Off- Chances Are You Handed Me the Scissors." A Blog Post on INFJ Boundaries/ Fairness/ Accessibility and Relationships .

*NOTE: As I have mentioned before in posts, personality is ONE aspect of being human and your individual make up. Environment, upbringing, birth, health, trauma, life experience, mental or cognitive differences, genetics, beliefs, gender preferences, country of origin....there are so many aspects that make up YOU. However, I firmly believe finding your accurate personality helps you understand more of yourself and how you work. Take a free test HERE: - or sign up with an email and take test here (this site has amazing insight, podcasts and videos.) The key is to answer as you ARE and not as you would want to be like. Meyers Briggs/ Keirsey is what the 16 personalities is based on and has research behind it for a reason. It is more of a descriptor of what you value and how you work out of the world in regards to communication and relationships. I am speaking with authority about INFJ because I am one. However, I make sure I am also reading up on all of the other types and I listen to every single Personality Hacker. Understanding more than just your type is key but writing about YOUR type can help the world. I encourage you, if you are not an INFJ, to write about your type and feel free to link it in the comments, as we need more personal stories on other types out there:) *

The first time I read the quote" If I cut you off- chances are you handed me the scissors," I felt like some of my previous relationships were summed up in a nutshell. INFJ's have a high tolerance for conflict resolution and harmony, until suddenly, all it takes is one (seemingly) tiny moment to make them break. See THIS post for more. 

I love to creatively engage in solo material. I make home videos, set to music, instead of large photo albums for my children to look back on. I also share these with a few people in my life. I don't have Facebook or any other social media, besides Blogger or Pinterest, for them to have access to. I am VERY private and keep my settings protected with a password.  If I have let a person into my inner life by sending blog posts via email or videos, I do not expect every single one to be read with glee or viewed, but yes, I DO expect occasional feedback or appreciation for my accessibility that was given. 

Accessibility, No Easy Roads to the INFJ, An Instagram Example:

"You'd have to understand how accessible I'm not, to really appreciate how accessible I am to you. Everyone's access isn't granted." The beauty or quirkiness (depending on perspective) of INFJ personality type is that they are protective of their personal spaces. INFJ's can be 'over the top' giving in their relationships, but they also are not easily accessible. They will SEEM open in public and perhaps come across as an easy acquaintance on first meeting, but it takes a lot of time for someone to be granted in their inner circle.

"INFJ - I closed off all easy roads leading to me. But I'm reachable if you're wiling to go the extra mile." 

As an INFJ, I have had an Instagram account where I only allowed 23 people to witness my life. I constantly rejected requests. I used Instagram personally, like a mini blog, to talk about struggles or triumphs in the caption under the picture. Over time 23 people was too many. So I cut my list down. It was more about the way I work in the world and not a hate action towards the people I cut. Beforehand I also wrote a post asking anyone who did not feel completely comfortable with how I use Instagram to stop following me with no hard feelings. Three people, including my cousin, dropped off. Eventually my list went down to 14 people. I would have been comfortable with about 9, but at the same time, I was grateful for the 14 who gave to me as much as I gave to them. I knew they were people who would not give my information away and would also leave occasional feedback or share their experiences. I value this reciprocal sharing in the forums that maximize my language. When people actually honour the way I communicate with loyalty, occasional feedback or reaching out once a month to check in one of my favourite spaces, I am also aware of going the extra mile for them. I will honour their reciprocity to the best of my ability.

Maybe it sounds harsh to other personality types? But it is important to know the larger context of an INFJ, which you can find HERE.  INFJ's also struggle with their own continual guilt patterns. Melissa wrote HERE, "The INFJ mind is very good at coming up with reasons we should feel guilty. Our Introverted Intuition seeks out patterns in our own behaviour. Our Extroverted Feeling picks up on how we make others feel and evaluates our actions in light of how people “should” be. Our Introverted Thinking is quite happy to analyze our faults to death. And that pesky Extroverted Sensing adds even more guilt by whispering that all this shouldn’t matter and we could just go have fun."

INFJ's Do Not Just Give Their Time to Anyone:

INFJ's are complex, private, contradictory, highly empathetic but boundary minded, and require a ton of space. Which is why, when an INFJ actually DOES take the time to check in via email, text, video, blog post or whichever medium they regularly feel comfortable with, IT MATTERS. You should know they don't just do this with anyone. If you are on their "list" you MUST have done something in the past to traverse through a few of their initial layers. Their inner circle may just be 6 people, but their secondary circle or even last circle is an honorary place to be. 

The Circles of an INFJ/ Earning a Place in the Inner Circles:

To put this into perspective I will try to give a fluid yet concrete example. This is simply a brief picture of what this looks like for an INFJ, but it's a little black and white;
Let's say there are about 10 circles that ripple out from my INFJ rock skipping over the waters of life. Anything outside of the ten is the rest of the world, brief acquaintances and obligatory grocery store hello type of relationships. The tenth circle is reserved for light acquaintances, and from there it goes inward. My first circle would involve my husband and children. Second circle would be my bestie- close to my first circle. Third circle is larger with about 15 people who have proven over and over that they deserve to be there. They get some of my secret forms of communication and occasional access to my first and second circle information. Sometimes a person CAN move out from my third circle to my tenth or one of the others, but it takes a lot of neglect on their part to get there. 4th circle can involve some extended family members but I would say that would be mostly my 7th circle. I send videos to a combination of people that are involved from circle one to circle 8. I feel this is generous and also inclusive. Just because I have not talked to an aunt in over two years, does not mean that I will not include her on my list, because the nostalgia of how she shaped me puts her in circle 8. 

Again, that example is a little too black and white, but it does shed light on how inaccessible INFJ's actually are. A balanced INFJ will not be a particularly social one. I do know INFJ's who are surrounded by people. I used to be one of those in my twenties. This is because INFJ's do love the CONCEPT of people and wish to help the world. But boundaries are their balancing core, and many INFJ's struggle with implementing them. Once an INFJ learns about boundaries, they can come off as selfish to those they used to give to. But they have realized the truth that it is less important to have a large circle of people and more important to have a few true friends. 

Years ago, I would give my time weekly to a group of friends. I gave my attention that could have been given to my children and my stuff which at the time was limited. I gave heartfelt notes, and actively tried to speak the language of each woman in my circle. Some took advantage of this and became angry when I stopped giving this attention due to illness and a difference in priorities. I understood that it would feel like a betrayal, and in some cases I explained. But generally explanations made it worse. When I found out that one of these close friends did not like reading the emails or blogs I sent, but yet she told me, "I value talking to you and want to hear all about your life." Well, that didn't fly with me. She knew me well enough, and I stated in previous conversations over the years, that I expressed best in writing. I gave her a window to my life, via those written words, which is how I shared the deepest parts, more than in conversation. Thus, I realized we were speaking different languages, and when I stopped going over the top to speak hers, she didn't bother meeting me HALF WAY. I knew, without a doubt that for years I had met her on her turf a quarter of the way beyond the half way point. I stretched myself past what I found natural, FOR HER. But that was never considered enough. As soon as I stopped she became resentful. She thought I was asking too much. I was asking for a basic level of equalization. I don't resent her expectations and realize they were partially my fault, but it was time to let go and cut that tie. In other words, I disappeared from her life.

Her expectation of me being a certain way is akin to telling someone you love them, when you never listen to them or value the way they are in the world. That is not love. A relative once said to my husband, "I love you." My husband told me later, "That is not love. What they mean is that they think they love me. But if they actually had love towards me, they would not require me to fit into their sliver of being and judge me harshly if my personality moves beyond that. They would allow me to be myself while being beautifully their own. They would disagree sometimes, of course, but they would not hold me to a false version of self. Telling someone you love them, when you give no effort to speak in their love languages, feels intrusive and unkind. It becomes more about you than about them. That is not true love."

I understand equalization means different things to different people. Also life can not be 50/50 (even in relationships.) My husband and I have a healthy relationship, but through out the years one of us will try harder than the other. We take turns being the stronger or weaker one...but we also try to meet half way as much as we possibly can. Friendships are varied and have lesser expectations. But they do become a problem if for a decade, one person is always reaching above the 80 percent mark while the other person is comfortable giving 20.

"INFJ- I still love the people I have loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them." 

To many, my above statements could be perceived as bitterness. I laugh at this because, as the few in my inner circle of people can attest to, I am the LEAST resentful person. First, I barely have a memory to hold on to transgressions in detail, though I will remember the emotions involved. Second, I realize that every person that has wounded me deeply or moved from an inner circle to an outer one, is still a person that I LOVE. How can that be?

INFJ's are quite connective. Even with our Doorslam, we think on the person who has abused or misused our trust, and we still see their good points. We almost ALWAYS, without many exceptions, UNDERSTAND why a person does what they do or how they are who they are. This is because of our perspective taking driver and gut intuition. Which makes it hard to hate anyone. Even most criminals. A fact that baffles other personality types. How can someone who has such ethical, perfectionistic tendencies, stick up for or explain a hardened criminal? We are contradictory in our natures but it is because of our understanding that we can not hate for long. 

We can become angry. It is also true, that at our core we are sensitive and mushy. We can occasionally Door slam (which is different from subtly cutting someone off. I've heard our ability to subtly cut someone off is also called "Ghosting." That actually describes it well.  A Doorslam is usually permanent. Cutting someone off is more of a distance mechanism with the ability to re consider if approaches change or life changes.) But most often, we will simply move someone to an outer circle with as much kindness as possible. It is only when they continue to demand more, that we start to shut our door.

I have crossed the street to avoid people. I dislike chit chat in general, and some people wounded too much without even realizing, to give a conversation to. But I know that I also love them. I will forever appreciate their previous roles in my life. Whether they were a tough lesson to learn or someone who just drifted naturally away. I believe in giving dues and I know that each person is worthy and contributed to whom I am today in small ways.

Time Boundaries/ Graciousness, and Selectivity;
If I invite a person over, it does not come lightly. I understand busyness, especially in today's world. I avidly protect my time. But I also believe, if someone is valued, they will be given time occasionally. It's about priorities. I have a limit and can recognize when I am not a priority. If I try to accommodate someone at least three times, move my schedule around to get together with them, after multiple cancellations, or if they continually come an hour late or do not text me till hours after they were supposed to arrive...I will reach my limit of graciousness. I may try two or three more times, within a year, to invite them over, but if the same patterns happen again, I will cut my losses. I will not bother anymore. Obviously, my time is not important to them on a larger level which is ok, but then I can apply the same rules... or they do not deem getting together as a priority. That is an allowable boundary on their part, but it is also okay for me to be more selective in the future.

My husband often teases that I have exceptionally high standards for the closest people in my life. This is true. But part of this is because I am quite happy alone for the most part. I love being a hermit and if I give my time, it is usually some sort of sacrifice. I hold myself to even higher standards. Yet, I also know the pitfalls of perfectionism. I make sure I am accepting of my flaws and others. I tend to give more, in the ways that I can, then I take. I also know I am a handful. I am ok with that and admire the people who accept whom I am within reason. I try to stretch myself too...

The INFJ Need for Protection Instead of Validation:
It may seem that I am looking for constant validation. If that were true I would have 1000 followers on Instagram or promote my blog in larger ways. I would accept anyone who asked for my attention. I would send my emails to the more than 100 addresses in my book. I would take the offers of blog promotion or guest blogs. I would be phoning people or continually inviting them over. "INFJ's are far less interested in validation and are more interested in protection. They don't need you to agree with them, they need to know you're not going to hurt them, even if the fear of hurt is deeply unconscious." When it comes down to it, I simply am looking for people who will value and protect my space or personality with all it's weaknesses and strengths, and allow me to do the same back.

Another part of this equation is that INFJ's can sense people's moods. Even over the phone. We know when we are being lied to but we won't say anything because we value each person's journey. We understand that if there is a lie, there is a reason that is not for us to explore, unless it is within one of our first circles of people. Thus, healthy INFJ's cannot be surrounded by a bunch of people. They will absorb too much moodiness and human emotion. They need ample downtime to decompress from the best of situations. Thus the strong boundaries.

We will think through all the reasons why we should allow a person to stay. We will consider the differences in personality, upbringing, environment ect. But then all of a sudden, there will come a moment where we realize "They just handed me the scissors." Usually it is significantly small compared to the many moments that were larger leading up to that moment.

The Natural Ebb and Flow of Relationships:
In life, there are natural years when we become closer to certain friends, and life takes us on another path, and we re join each other later, or walk away. This is normal. I allow for that ebb and flow. Most INFJ's are quite understanding about different moments, or years in life. I have had a friend since I was 12 who has had years of being close to me, and years when we text maybe twice. She is still in my closer circles. I still share information with her to keep her up to date. Because the years have proven that we come back to each other, over and over, in various ways, she is an honorary member of my closer circles. We both are Introverts and we value our space. Yet, we also love deep topics. She has spent New Years and Christmases with our family, but then gone years with barely any contact. It's how we roll. I have never considered her a person who has handed me scissors. I knew when she was struggling and needing space. I knew that when she had boyfriends she would not keep in much contact. That's normal. She knew when I was dealing with my husband's depression that I could not give anything outside of the home. We are considerate of each other. We also know, on a deep level, that we pull the magic out of each other enough and not the anger. We make each other better for the most part. That matters. So you see, handing me the scissors is way more complex than a season of drifting or occasional neglect or normal mistakes.
No Need to Explain:

I used to try to give more explanations to people of why they were cut out of my life. In rare occasions, I will still try to extend a kind explanation if I sense that a person is in a vulnerable state but they are still too toxic to be in my space. In this circumstance I want to cause the least damage. But mostly, I have realized explanations make things worse. Distance is best. Luckily, chronic illness has come in handy for this. I use it as a legitimate excuse. Which it is. It's a truthful way of cutting out people with the least amount of damage. I honestly do have less energy, even as an INFJ with my time because of chronic illness. My time is even more valuable. Thus, if people are handing me scissors I can put them off and if an explanation is asked, I now simply say, "With chronic illness I just can't give the way I used to." And I can't. Even to the people who have deserved every bit of my attention. If I can give - they earned first rights. For most people I simply disappear.

"If other people do not understand our behaviour- so what? Their request that we must do only what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being "irrational" or "antisocial" in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. How many lives have been ruined by this need to explain, which usually implies that the explanation be understood. Ie Approved. Let your deeds be judged and from your deeds, your real intentions, but know that a free person owes an explanation only to himself- to his reason and conscience and the few who may have a justified claim to explanation."- Anonymous

The few that have a claim to justified explanations, deserve them. The rest, just require space. The same rule applies to self. I make sure, if I am making claims on someone, that I am in a justified position to do so. Sometimes I make the mistake of assumption. In those circumstance, it will take me awhile to adjust to my new role, but I will adjust. That's life.

The True INFJ need In Relationships- Protection and Home:

At our core, INFJ's reveal ourselves in layers. If we sense a flinch to whom we are, we seal off access to that part of our soul. Sometimes we give multiple chances, others we are done off the bat. We are open to people, in the sense that we are open to humanity. We give advice and most of our conversations can seem deep. But to truly share our inner lives, our quirkiness, our dark sense of humour, our odd connections and secret loves of need to feel like HOME. Home involves, first and foremost, an element of safety. 

Ten Actions that May Cause an INFJ to Get out the Proverbial Scissors or "Ghost" a Relationship:

If you handed the scissors to an INFJ you most likely did one or more of these ten actions (although these vary from person to person but these ARE attributes most INFJ's agree upon.) I actually do not love giving a list, as it is more of a process than cut and dry, but someone asked me to try to state the main points:

1.) You Bullied. Or you pushed an agenda they can't get behind, over and over.
2.) You spoke harshly over and over about those they love. INFJ's have pretty flexible, numerous gray areas of life, but there are usually a few unbreakable lines that they surprisingly have. Usually these lines pertain to those they love in some way. Then their seemingly high amount of tolerance becomes obsolete.
3.) You asked for more than you gave, over and over again, in most areas of life. Or you did not give enough space. We do not tolerate smothering well. We need lots of space without the guilt trip.
4.) You dissed something that was a core of who they are. For myself, if someone completely disregards a subject I am passionate on, this will help lead to a cut off. I don't mind if they disagree but if they hate on something I love regularly, even though they know it's important to me, that becomes a problem. Like my unreasonable love of Glee, or my Autism diagnosis, constant search for the meaning in everything, or engagement with personality types ect. There are some things I share that are core to whom I am, and if it is met with derision more than once that is not friendship, it's an acquaintance.
5.) Judgment. Whether spiritual, religious, racial, or even over the top 'social justice warrioring'  ect. or any form of intolerance or cruelty. Basically, a lack of thinking or philosophizing that equals a malicious action or intent against humanity in extreme or daily acts. We will not tolerate this well, on a regular basis, even if it impersonal. Is it a contradiction that we are judging the judgers but yet do not tolerate judging? Yup, it's definitely part of our make up.
6.) We are fine if you want to be the same as everyone else. We also are not as protective about individuality as certain other personality types are. To each their own. We don't need to be special snowflakes. We know whom we are. BUT if we are forced into a way of life or it is asked that our friends conform to certain behaviours ect... Well, that won't go over well. We tolerate conformity for the most part, because we realize all the nuances of society and the balances required, but in relationships, we tolerate this point, until suddenly we don't...A conformist mindset most likely would cause issues if combined with other points.
7.) Constant complaining or an inability to even partially understand deeper meanings in life. In short- Ignorance and Martyrdom.
8.) Inability to understand intuition or receive guidance. Especially derision of our carefully honed intuition. There is science to's not a mystic whim. We just observe and predict definite outcomes. This is a large part of whom we are.
9.) A general lack of respect for time given or gifts given and then judgments made without the slightest consideration of reciprocity or equality on a sliding scale. But we see you are capable of respect, equality or reciprocity and know it is not because of a lack of understanding. Social status climbers especially can be guilty of this and we will cut off a tie quickly if we feel we are being used.
10.) You broke trust. Doubt= Distance.

The Benefits of an INFJ Friendship/ Fairness and Contradictions:
Most INFJ's make valuable, loyal, quirky, insightful and dedicated friends. They will give honesty where it is lacking, compassion when it is needed, kindness even though they are not given the same level back, firmness when a boundary is required, intuition and guidance for core moments, and an interesting perspective on life.

INFJ's are not easily acquired in friendship or in life. They may have a few high standards, but they apply these fairly to themselves. If they cut you off, you can be guaranteed they thought of your position in depth. They applied understanding and knew what would be your defences if you spoke for yourself. They probably gave a few hours of fair consideration. They probably even gave some unwarranted chances. Or maybe they simply had enough? We all have our limits, INFJ's are usually clear about their boundaries within behaviour. If they withdrew, you probably crossed one.

If you put up with their quirks, mistakes and neurosis, it is a guarantee that they will repay you in spades. Either in loyalty, gifts, unusual advice, infusing meaning and purpose into life, or creating beautiful safe places. You know that you are valued if they include you in their process. They do not do this with just anyone. You KNOW you are loved if they text you occasionally first, invite you over occasionally or take time in some way or form at least a few times a year.

My husband stated on a recent drive home, "I will never be as fair as you in relationships. I will never have as high standards either so I guess we balance each other out, but you are fair even when we fight. I know you consider me as much as yourself. Being fair is a gift you give, but life is not always fair, which I know you know, and I guess makes it even more valuable that you strive to give fairness where you can. If you are calling me on a behaviour, as much as I cringe or hate it, I know deep down you are most likely right and have given a lot of thought to bringing it up." When he says statements like that, he provides even more reasons, that in his case, proverbial scissors do not even exist. There would only be one exception when they would surface, but otherwise, they are not even an option. Some relationships need to thrive on dedication. A contradiction? Perhaps...

Song Choice: Girl on Fire- Naya Rivera Glee


Called to Question said...

Wow! Wonderful post. I am a sucker for INFJ's, especially you. You are like lady Galadriel "I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!" INFJ to "T" 😉

Kmarie said...

Wow 😳 that's a little depressing 😂Thanks hon I think? I'm glad you love me though... lol I don't know whether to be flattered that you compared me to one of your favourite characters or slightly terrified that my natural state could give off that vibe to the one who knows me most. Lol yikes. At the same time, I'm glad u are a sucker for me and apparently find my ways dramatic and amusing. Guess we are right for each other ♥️

S said...

This post describes me in totality and posts like these make me wonder if there is any difference between INFP and INFJ, when it comes to defining or ending relationships. Just like you, I also silently withdraw rather than explain what happened or what went wrong in relationships. Over the years, I had to cut off from my closest relatives and friends and I did not really know why things were falling apart in the beginning. Actually, my personality is such that I tend to take things "seriously" in relationships and it is all black or all white middle ground for me. Diplomacy is not my nature. I take a step back when relationships start getting complicated. I am a simple person with straightforward needs and when stuffs start getting complicated, I run away. How can I explain myself when we feel so differently (being a person of high sensitivity or an NF or aspie or introvert ) ? So explanations or "clearing up the air" never worked for me. Also, I figured out that I do not actually need friends or support as I am pretty happy being myself, all alone. With too many relationships, comes too many baggages, pain and a sense of overwhelm ( specially if you have chronic illness thrown in ). I need space to breathe and I love silence. After the death of my father-in-law, my mother-in-law is now coming to stay with us for half of the year( i.e. for six months). Our temperaments are very different. So, it will be a new chapter in my life, trying to co-exist with someone who is very different from me (unlike my husband, whose nature is similar to me). Anyways, I guess life will teach me new lessons, of compassion and co-existence , even if I have been running away from people since my childhood years,( particularly when things get complicated) :):)

Kmarie said...

S: I am glad you could relate...Yes it can be tough but it is important to clarify space.
I think there is a difference though in sticking it out. My husband and bestie say I have a way higher tolerance than them for other peoples issues, problems and conflict. I dont love conflict. But I am pretty good at navigating it. I give A LOT to those I care about deeply or feel are important in my life...
However, with some extended relatives that there is just toxicity like in some people...yes then I just use distance if there are no grounds for understanding.
Most people just refute or make it worse when given explanations...Very true.
Yes INFJ and INFPs are often quite happy being on there own for long periods.
Wow, you are very kind and brave to have your mother in law with you but I agree that it could teach compassion and co existence...:)

Kmarie said...

Also for any INFP's or Mistyped INFJ's as INFP"S- Taken from here:

"Because INFPs and ISFPs are introverted feeling dominant types, they are incredibly emotionally intense, and experience their feelings on a deeply personal level. On the flip side, the INFJ is an auxiliary extroverted feeler, which means they are significantly more detached from their emotions than their IxFP counterparts. But because INFPs and ISFPs identify with the INFJ in an overwhelming frequency, we are constantly seeing incorrect stereotypes develop about how emotional the INFJ type is.

In reality, the INFJ is much more giving than they are emotional. The INFJ feels an almost compulsive need to give back to their loved ones and/or society in a meaningful way, but they are not tortured by their personal experience of emotions the way IxFP types are. In fact, INFJs tend to be highly adept at separating themselves from their emotions when need be, as they are intuitive dominant types first and feelers second.

Additionally, INFJs are very pragmatic long-term planners, unlike the INFPs, who are idealistic long-term planners. While the INFJ uses introverted intuition to attempt to predict what definitely will happen in the future, the INFP uses extroverted intuition to envision multiple various scenarios surrounding what could happen, preferring the exploration of these ideas much more than the execution of them.

While the INFP is wildly imaginative and speculative, the INFJ is significantly more grounded in reality – they want to know the future, whereas the INFP wants to invent it.

However, because so many INFPs identify as INFJs, it perpetuates the stereotype that INFJs are idealistic dreamers. While the INFJ does often get lost in their thoughts, their thoughts do not mirror the imaginative fantasies of the INFP type – they are more often considering how various courses of events are likely to play out, in an attempt to narrow down which one is most likely to happen and how they ought to plan for it accordingly.

Because so many IxFP types misidentify as INFJs, INFJs often develop a reputation for being incredibly emotional dreamers – when in reality, they’re much more intellectual and discerning than they are emotional and imaginative.

*Note: There are also a significant number of ISFJs who are mistyped as INFJs."

Anonymous said...

This blog post is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo off the charts GOOD!!! I resonate so deeply, K!

Xoxoxoxoxo Thank you for your heart and all you share so beautifully.


Kmarie said...

Amy: Thank you! I am so glad it resonated do deeply!

Anonymous said...

This top 10 list is so spot on. I used to push myself past the desire to cut off people, but as I have grown, I allow myself to cut them off. Lol! Boundary bashers and dramatic/energy sucking people are top on my list. People who demand more than I can give, are also high on the list.

Thank you for writing this out, K.. it’s so helpful.- A

Kmarie said...

A: I am glad the top 10 list is spot on. Yes, as we grow we learn what isnt ours to hold. Yes those make sense for being high on the list:)
No problem:)