Monday, July 24, 2017

INFJ. The Many Contradictions, Ironies, Dualities, and Paradoxes of the INFJ Personality Type. The Strengths and Weaknesses of INFJ's. Breaking down the Contradictions in Each Letter of I. N.F.J.

*NOTE: As I have mentioned before in posts, personality is ONE aspect of being human and your individual make up. Environment, upbringing, birth, health, trauma, life experience, mental or cognitive differences, genetics, beliefs, gender preferences, country of origin....there are so many aspects that make up YOU. However, I firmly believe finding your accurate personality helps you understand more of yourself and how you work. Take a free test HERE: - or sign up with an email and take test here (this site has amazing insight, podcasts and videos.) The key is to answer as you ARE and not as you would want to be like. Meyers Briggs/ Keirsey is what the 16 personalities is based on and has research behind it for a reason. It is more of a descriptor of what you value and how you work out of the world in regards to communication and relationships. I am speaking with authority about INFJ because I am one. However, I make sure I am also reading up on all of the other types and I listen to every single Personality Hacker. Understanding more than just your type is key but writing about YOUR type can help the world. I encourage you, if you are not an INFJ, to write about your type and feel free to link it in the comments, as we need more personal stories on other types out there:) **

The Duality- Caught Between Logic and Feeling:
A phrase in Fun's song, "We are Young" croons, "Tonight we are young, so let's set the world on fire, We can burn brighter, than the sun." I love this song. But each time I hear that line, even after years of it being on my favourites playlist, I am plagued with my duality of thought. On one hand I think, "YES!! Let's burn bright." Then I proceed to picture myself running with those I love, in the perfect outfit, and dancing in the honeyed hue of just before twilight, smiling as the song bursts from all of our mouths in unison. My heart speeds up in anticipation of doing something youthful and memorable. The other part of me wishes to warn everyone I know that burning brighter than the sun does not have to be a magnificent, epic, Hollywood gesture. It can be as simple as a sick person resting into their convalescing season, or a depressed soul managing to brush their teeth, or a parent basking in the delight of their children's milestone...setting the world on fire varies depending on the moment and what one is capable of. My heart slows down with the logical realization that I am already burning bright by being who I am. But then I get caught up in the rest of the song which means singing loudly and feeling the urge to do something spontaneous and loud, while many other thoughts carousel in my mind.

See what happens to my INFJ brain with ONE sentence of song lyrics? I am torn into my two opposing sides, both of which the thoughts play in my brain simultaneously, of rational thinking, and epic romance. I think this is part of the reason why the TV series Glee spoke to me and is still my 'feel good/ go to show' when I am struggling or needing inspiration. Most INFJ's may not feel the same way, because my experience is based on upbringing, but hang in here with me, while I explain why this brings home an example of INFJ thinking.

A Glee Example:
Glee (Seasons 1.5 - 3- My favourite character and the meaningful storylines that hit harder for me do not come until Blaine enters the picture in 2.6.) brought to life all the music, movies, film, and dance numbers I grew up on and was obsessed with and combined it with hard hitting issues (as the series progressed) of acceptance, teen pregnancy, bullying, abuse, being a minority, religion, hypocrisy, drugs, suicide, alcohol, sex, commitment, texting and driving, inequality, ableism, and many other worthy themes. Ironically, sometimes it was done in a sacrilegious or sarcastic tone. Sometimes it was harsh with the material and other times incredibly gentle. All mental conditions or minority stances spoken on the show, were given both respect and awareness, yet also dark jokes and mean spirited comments, which equalized many disabilities, differences, and mental illness with both a dark and light approach. All were up for defending and also up to the same treatment. This is what INFJ's often will encompass- a sense of darkness and light, or seriousness in a funny situation or laughter in a serious situation. (Although many INFJ's could be adverse to Glee:) We have a dark sense of humour and can laugh at seemingly cruel things if presented in a certain harmless way, yet we are compassionately engaged with the innocence of difference and often will be found fighting for the underdogs.
Many INFJ's who did not grow up like I did, may not enjoy Glee. Glee did not always make sense from the week to week standpoint. The writing wasn't fluid from show to show. As I watch the episodes post production, I can appreciate that aspect now, knowing that my expectations have already been disappointed in some cases and exceeded in others. Episodes that used to bother me, I can now enjoy. Some episodes I still skip over entirely but it doesn't really matter in the end. Some episodes I watch for the singing, and others I watch for the overarching theme of the week and skip some songs. It appeals to my hopeless romantic and unrealistic side and indulges it...because often the side I choose to live in the day to day is my logical realistic one. Yet, it also pulls the heart strings with it's episodic lessons or real world issues.
Glee is morally and ethically complex. If it doesn't trigger or bother a person in one episode, it will most likely do so at least once a season. At the same time, viewers who stick with it into later seasons, will also find that this same triggering aspect can happen for comfort and feelings of belonging. This is most likely, the experience most people have being friends with an INFJ. We can be challenging and comforting simultaneously. INFJ's can push the envelope simply by being ourselves. There are comforting segments of Glee, that have made my mostly Glee disliking husband leak a few tears, because he is deeply touched, when I force him to sit and watch. This complex duality is like my INFJ soul. "I'm an odd combination of 'really sweet' and 'don't mess with me.'"

INFJ Contradictions- No Better Friend- No Worse Enemy:
As INFJ's we are capable of making a person feel the most understood, but we can also tear that same person down with our words of insight, if we decide to use them as weapons instead of soothing balms. This contradiction can confuse those around us. We can be mushy and tough all at once. Atticus wrote, "She wore a smile like a loaded gun." This applies to an INFJ woman. We make loyal and life changing friends, to the people we actually allow to come close enough to our inner realms of friendships, but we can also be formidable enemies.

Although it takes a lot to push us to enemy status of which I wrote about HERE. INFJ's are capable of whirling through anger and leaving behind a bit of devastation they deeply regret later. This can especially happen if triggered by ignorance and lack of compassion. Conflict and criticism can drive us to the brink of annoyed crazy. My husband has a habit of being a pot stirrer. He can thrive off of conflict and I have had to tone down my balking reaction to this aspect of his ENFP soul. He has also had to learn to tone down his conflict seeking adventures when I am around. We balance each other out on most days but sometimes our differences ignite sparks. He is also quite the pessimist despite his bubbly persona and he can criticize in reckless abandon when he wishes. I seem serious and sometimes brooding, but surprisingly cling to optimism when it comes to the priorities nearest to my heart and belief in the world. Nothing will make me more irritated than constant criticism or idle gossip (luckily he is NOT an idle gossip.) If I hear more than three criticisms in an hour I will start snapping at him. And then, ironically, if this continues to happen for more than half a day, I will turn my irritation on HIM and criticize him with soulless detail. It never ends well. "INFJ no better friend, no worse enemy."

Luckily, to counter balance this hidden sinister darkness inside, INFJ's have epic levels of self control. This control is usually checked from learning the hard way in our past, that our zinging perceptions, when targeted, can cause us more pain in the end then we bargained for. INFJ's can usually refrain from and harness our capability of ripping the soul out of our victim with our insight filled words. If we do give in to our anger, usually we are not relieved later, and feel awful for losing control and inflicting pain. We are at our best when life is in harmony, including our interactions. We probably relive and reopen the wounds more than most of our victims of temper, for years later, into the late hours of the night...this applies even to the times when the anger was justified. I work on this factor of myself with appropriate boundaries.

INFJ and Boundaries:
Boundaries are deeply needed for INFJ's. Usually we are not very good at them until we practice, practice, practice. We also often have to learn to accept what Brene Brown coined, "Our shame stories." We are hard on ourselves sometimes, even if it seems that INFJ's are full of themselves...We just know ourselves and our gifts. There is the flip side and we have the other side that needs a lot of work. We can seem to have insight into all other people but ourselves at times. It's a character trait that demands growth for the INFJ's. Two books that helped me on this subject were "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown and "Necessary Endings" by Henry Cloud Townsend. (Links can be found in my Library.)

Our paradoxes also reach into our intelligence. We love to research, intuitively seek out information, and build up our resources. Yet, the more we become informed, the less we fit in. Already we feel the contradicting frustration of society not understanding us, yet loving that we are unique enough to rarely be understood. We both love and hate our own contradictions. Our lives are enhanced and disenchanted by our own duplicity. Our desire to be well informed is also at odds (like the cartoon expresses below) with our 'desire to remain sane.' We are so contradictory to most of society, that the more we engage in controversial or outside the box thinking, the more alien we feel. 

Aldous Huxley wrote," The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline to the religion of solitude." This rings true for INFJ's and INTJ's although, I disagree with the quote applying to all of humanity. While it is true that solitude takes out the influences of the dumb, zombie mass mentality factor, there have been MANY brilliant original and powerful minds that have also been Extroverts. To not factor this in, would be pretentious and discriminatory to those who get energy hits off of other people (Extroverts.)

INFJ's tend to LIVE the Matrix. That show never shattered my reality or was mind blowing to me, because I already felt that way about life. I've always rebelled at the nature of normality. I don't understand why Alice went home after Wonderland. Yet, I still have to BE in this world, so some information or thought processes, I have to smother to stay sane, in the place I am supposed to be alive in. I possess a stubborn quality simply because I was born into a life that requires a participation level I think is ridiculous.

Every personality type feels that they are a paradox sometimes, but INFJ's particularly feel like they ARE the living paradox. Even within our Introversion, iNtuitive, Feeling, and Judging explanations, we encompass opposing traits.

I= Introversion. INFJ is the most Introverted type though often Ironically Mistaken as Extrovert:

Our Introversion is counterbalanced by our sometimes outgoing nature. We are often mistaken for Extroverts even if we are one of the types that craves hermit status the most. We ironically treat people the way we want to be treated and we don't make small talk with them. We are drawn to humanity...when we do not have to engage with the masses. We think about people ALL the time; dissecting, analyzing, observing, understanding and wishing to make the world a better place without being noticed too much. Yet, as soon as we are around a bunch of people, our inner Loki comes out. I can see how Loki, the god of mischief in Norse mythology, became so intent on ruling...his twisted burden of purpose is an example of the rare case of INFJ evil that COULD happen, if we don't use our superpowers for good. I think most INFJ's would agree with the statement to humanity that, "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, identity."- Loki. How INFJ's come to terms with this realization pushes us either deeper into the shadows or a step into the brighter light.

N= Intuitive. INFJ's Can SEEM sensory...but we are all in our head...

Our sensory aspect is so underdeveloped that we can seem highly sensory. The Intuitive letter is always our highest scoring description. We are definitely N's, however, our moderation demands our attention. We have to practice the middle ground. I have always been a person of extremes. I sleep way too much to counter balance my insomniac life. I work faster and harder than my husband at times and then lazily contend with the best couch potato for days of inactivity. I feel everything or nothing. I fall hard or resist to the proverbial death. Our Sensory is our three year old process and often our downfall.
Our F acts more like a T:

We are often logical even though our feeling quotient is high. We make our decisions based on logic but we are extroverted feeling with the interactions of the world. See THIS functional stack for more details in this regard. We empathize deeply but with an analytical approach. It's a cold feeling rationality that other feelers do not fully get. Actually, almost all personality types, other than our fellow INTJ's, don't understand this logical rational quality combined with our feeling status. We layer our coldness with warmth which the thinkers (T's) can not fully relate to either.

J= Planned flexibility:
Our Judging quality can often come across as a Perceiving type. We have moments of adaptability and spontaneity that some Perceivers can't even understand. My husband knows I like to plan everything. Truthfully, even my spontaneity is planned, in the sense that I have thought the whole spontaneous event quickly through with it's benefits and consequences, and I am ready to quickly switch gears. I can procrastinate longer than my ENFP husband, when I get in the mood, which is saying a lot.

Interacting with the Types that Understand Us Most:

No wonder people get confused by INFJ's. INFP's feel we are too contradictory or fluctuating based on context, which often will conflict with their sense of authenticity. Yet, out of all the types, they often relate to us the most. INTJ's get our future orientated thinking and intuitive perspectives, but our feeling aspect throws them for a loop at times or seems wishy washy... ENFJ's our are sister types but are way kinder than us. ENFJ's have our backs. We connect with ENFJ's on our planning J features and also our harmony co pilot which we both fiercely protect. Both ENFJ and INFJ types get annoyed by conflict. ENFP's are often our better halves. They bring out our balance and we bring out theirs. Truthfully, any personality type can get along with another or understand to a point, but these types tend to get an INFJ more within these aspects.

INFJ Trust Issues, Detectives of Lies, Observing Details:

Unfortunately, INFJ's also tend to notice what people don't want noticed. We notice the inner unspoken details, the hypocrisy, and the lies.

Especially the lies. The picture below expresses this well. "INFJ -when you know someone is lying but you just sit there and let them talk." And then proceed to allow them to carry on their lie for the rest of their lives if they wish, because you understand why they are lying and also understand the freedom of portrayal and speech. With the exception of the times when these lies are causing harm to others...and even then, the INFJ will go about exposing these lies behind the scenes, with calculated timing...but they KNOW. Oh they know...except for the rare time that their naiveté clouds perception. However, usually this is discovered down the line because it's also unlikely an INFJ is mislead for long, due to gut intuition. The one type that is often able to confuse an INFJ the most, is our polar opposite...ESTP's can foil our sense of stability like no other...

INFJ's Seem to be an Open Book but are Full of Closed Doors. The Layers of an INFJ:

Our contradictions also bleed into how others perceive us. INFJ's can seem like an open book full of information, and private details given with careless abandon. Certain personality types do not even speak about topics in such depth in one lifetime, that we do in one week. That is just the tip of the ice burg of thought for an INFJ. It's both a curse and a gift. Our minds are constantly swirling with information. We are continually changing and dedicated to personal growth. Which means it is rare that information yesterday is completely relevant for our tomorrows. We have layers of intimacy and layers of privacy that most do not understand. INFJ's implement weird rules for sharing. We are picky about which platforms we share on and which we completely ignore. It is different for each INFJ although, often we are attracted to similar platforms. Most INFJ's love blogging and pinning personality pins on Pinterest. The same rules we apply on social forums can apply to people. We share certain aspects of ourselves with certain types. Who we are depends heavily on context. People think they know us well from reading or witnessing a passionate speech, hearing our whispered confession in consolatory moments, or because of the rate and depth of information we share, but most people do not truly know or understand our inner workings. Even when we give them the key.

Craig Thompson wrote, "You have so many layers, that you can peel away a few and everyone is so shocked or impressed that you are baring your soul, while to you it's nothing, because you know you've got at least twenty more layers to go."  My husband can still be surprised by my actions or nuances of being, even though I give him the running monologue on my inner workings daily. My best friend and I STILL have interesting and engaging conversations about new thoughts, patterns or insights after thirteen years of speaking an average of five hours a week on the phone. Many people in the past assumed they knew me because I handed them little bits of information to understand, at a small capacity or because I felt I owed them at least some sort of explanation. The fact is, INFJ's understand contradictions so well, that we can change our minds in an instant. What once applied in one circumstance, does not apply to us in another. Many people see this as uncommitted, selfish, or inauthentic, but we are extremely authentic individuals dedicated to the selfless act of context within a committed moment.

We COULD win arguments, and we know this to the depth of our core, but we know that the complexity in which our arguments hold up our not worth the time of our opponents. They would have to know all the research, thought and perspectives we have spent decades thinking upon and honing in on to understand, thus we usually stay quiet, smile and nod, or just utter, "agree to disagree" or "Oh that could make sense" with a polite tone. To our friends, we will give a little bit more, but still we do not go into the wealthy amounts of information because we do not wish to waste their time with thoughts that are not theirs to engage with, in the first place...we can open doors but we do not wish to start new worlds for people. Their job is to walk through the door and create their own worlds.

Weak Sensory Issues:

We can also look very incapable. Our sensory aspect is often so underdeveloped that we can become mute, silly phrased individuals in a sensory environment. Our superpowers go undercover and we are left with all of our incapabilities, to which there are many, at the same intense degree of our gifts. Just like our gifts can seem larger than life, our weaknesses also are.
INFJ's are also intensely sexual, but based on depth of connection, because of our sensory overload factor. For once sensory overload is used for good in intimate circumstances. We like physical affection but on our terms. INFJ's can seem touchy but we dislike casual hugs or touch. The same way we dislike chit chat. It feels cheap to us, even if we understand that to other personalities it is highly valuable. We engage for the sake of others we care about, but in general we are a walking contradiction when it comes to intimacy and the ground rules apply, once again, based on circumstance. For instance, I adore hugs from my children and snuggles, but if they approach me in an in depth/ thought moment I may lightly push them away.

 INFJ's are constantly torn. 

We wouldn't have it any other way but sometimes this brings us more pain in life. Like the meme expresses below;
"The INFJ thought process. Ni: I want to find the one true a way that maintains general harmony... Ti: without swaying too much from what feels logical... Se: while trying not to completely miss what is going on right now."


 "INFJ If I am silent, it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, It depends. May the odds be ever in your favour." As Meredith Brooks sings, "I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one..." and "I hate the world today...I'm your hell, I'm your dream. I'm nothing in know you wouldn't want it any other way... Just when you think, You've got me, figured out, the seasons already changing...Tomorrow I may change and today won't mean a thing..." But for the record, today, while it is happening, matters to us. We feel the moment even if we are distracted by our ever intrusive thoughts. We may be future orientated, but we also strive to be in the moment, when we can, embracing life. Another paradox.

My biggest hit on my blog is about the INFJ magic and oddness found here; 

A post about INFJ Boundaries:

 I wrote a post based on the insights of Michael Pierce's video on INFJ and include many of his quotes from the video segment here:

I also LOVED this site and found every word accurate: and this one:

To read more: (there is also a test link on there to clarify if you are an INFP or INFJ) and here are many of my favourite INFJ pins : and

 Personality hacker has podcasts and videos on each type. Here is a few of their INFJ links:

 Song choice: I love this version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun on Glee because the way it is done is kind of like an INFJ soul...contradictions between lyrics and music yet aptly accurate:

My daughter also said I had to add this song because it reminds her of me. LOL.:

and because I referenced " We are Young" in the first part of the post...I prefer this version over Fun's actually, which is rare for me to prefer the copy over original...


Amy said...

I loved this whole essay on the INFJ personality type as well as the little bits about the ENFP, INTJ and ESFP personality types. .

Here are my thoughts as I read through – Love that Kermit the Frog meme! Ha ha ha! And your thoughts on the person who is lying. So true!! We can see all the reasons why someone is who they are, and why they make the choices that they do, while also knowing that something will break and truth will arise one way another in it’s time.

Your thoughts on holding back your true opinion.. oh lordie! My hub gets that one from me when I feel like he has stayed in a unhealthy pattern too long or he has been way to cynical out loud to me too many times. Yup… watch out. Here come’s a shit load of truth. Lol! This just happened this morning – he does not take care of himself and he was complaining AGAIN about being light headed, heart beating fast, not feeling good, and WOOSH! I had it, and I let truth rip. Lol – I think there is such a intense awareness of bringing truth with a mixture of compassion, so I very rarely speak it in a toxic way. But we have had intense conversations, and it has come out in a stinging way that we have had to come back to and work out because I spoke it in anger. Man, I love what you shared with that. SO true!

OMG - "You have so many layers, that you can peel away a few and everyone is so shocked or impressed that you are baring your soul, while to you it's nothing, because you know you've got at least twenty more layers to go." YESSSSSSSS! So many yeses! We can share what would be a whole person’s inner secret world, when in reality it’s just chit chat to us. Lol! Oh my gosh, I love that!

What you shared on darkness and light – this is a area that I have learned to accept in myself. I love the light, and it’s taken a long time to embrace my shadows. To this day, I can be walking along in the light, and then boom! Into the darkness I go, and bounce – back to the light. Really interesting. For the darkness/shadow is old coping skills… old ways of comforting myself. Even tho I am learning and practicing better more filling ways to cope with stress and comfort myself, I can bounce pretty fast back into old shadow behaviors. It’s a really wild thing to do and observe in my behavior at times. I am learning to offer myself no judgement and lots of self compassion when this occurs. Still a practice.

Oh I could go on and on… yes yes yes!

Thank you, K! I have a INFJ sister that I am going to share this with.. she is loving it too.


Kmarie said...

Amy: Thanks...Yea I made a typo on ESFP but it was supposed to be ESTP. Sometimes it is tough to get the letters right:)
Yes very true:)
Lol I am glad that rang true for you and I like your story with hubby:)
Ha, that is one most people can not wrap their brains around...sharing a little from us is A LOT to most people.
Some of what you are speaking upon in the shadow self is actually your inferior sensory processing. Because of our lack of skill in sensory issues that INFJ's can really be either monk ish in our level of abstaining sensory things but if we are struggling we can go the other way and do all the bad habits of the sensory...and what you are saying sounds a lot like that inferior processing is interfering in stress which is COMMON for INFJ's- awareness is the first step for us in that regard. personality hacker has some excellent podcasts about this aspect of INFJ- INTJ's are similar in their habits and downfalls too- because their 3 year old process is also sensory- its our inferior processing- sensory which is also why sensory can destroy us and greatly comfort us. The more we explore and understand this about ourselves - the more we can accept and moderate this. The fact is- we will always struggle with sensory bad habits in times of stress or sensory deprivation for some...meaning either food ( too much or too little), alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, shopping...the list goes on and each INFJ/INTJ will be different but the struggle CAN be lessoned and used in more appropriate channels with more grace when we are able ( like you said) "To observe behaviour at times and offer no judgement and lots of self compassion." YES@! right on.

The darkness I was also talking about is that we are actually able to see the duality of life that in order to have light you need dark. And that it is necessary and embracing a certain level of darkness in ourselves, others and the world enables more light and love in the end as well. INFJs can also have dark senses of humour and dark ways of coping as you said, and dark ways of understanding...but we understand that this paradox is a necessary part of living.

I am glad you are going to share it with someone who will appreciate:)

Amy said...

I still need to wrap my head around the sensory definitions and what that means. After you and Philip had recommended Personality Hacker forever ago on one of my IG posts, I listened to every single one of their podcasts. I still have the hardest time understanding all of the personality/psyche letters and what they stand for. I do understand the difference between a IS/ES and a IN/EN. My hub and youngest are both IS personality types and my oldest daughter and son are IN/EN.

I will understand better one day, and then I will break it down in super simple bites for people like myself who struggle to really understand it. I just need to saturate myself a bit more in it. I am really interested to take the course with Merja the INFX program. I know there is much I have to learn in understanding my inner workings and needs. I do remember one podcast that talked about the biggest goal for INFJ’s is to conserve our energy. We are big time energy leakers, and I have made that a big life challenge to do so. It feels good to have someone acknowledge and then to give permission to be protective of where us INFJ’s give out our energy. So many things made sense when I heard that podcast.

And yes yes, to what you shared about seeing the duality in life. Yes, I absolutely got that when you shared that on your post. I love how you write and am really inspired by you.

So much to learn! Love that we get to learn from each other like this. Thank you again so much for sharing your journey.

Kmarie said...

Yea it can be confusing...Hey maybe 16personalities would help for you to start...their website is less in depth but has some great things too and a bit different language! I usually start people out on that site.

I still forget all the EN/IS abbreviations and such and use the car model descriptors more often. It confuses me sometimes too! Yes I listened to the Merja ones that were free and the rest of the course sounds great! Yes, it helps so much.

I figured you got it but for other readers wanted to go into it more..I should have clarified that- sorry:) THank you for that compliment. :)
Love that too...BTW when I click on your name it takes me to your really old site...and there has been so much growth and differences in your life since then- I cant seem to find your other site...could you send it to me sometime:) ?

Anonymous said...

This was brilliant! This is so well written my mouth was hanging open. Yes to it all. I can totally relate. My husband enfp. Lol like I said I can relate to it all . Except glee because I've never seen it but I'm going to watch it now. Xo- G

Kmarie said...

Thanks! Canadian Netflix has the first two seasons of glee but oddly took the other four down so I actually bought them on Apple TV or iTunes but u could start. Fair warning- it can be ridiculous and loads of teen soap opera drama at times but there are some fabulous episodes ESP for minorities. I was so mad at their portrayal of Aspergers in season 3 I wrote a post back in the day on my old second blog before this but it's deleted now cuz now I realize they didn't get it right sometimes or just joked around but other times they were so on target and sometimes not getting it right still exposed the issues into the limelight and got people talking. Now I just laugh at the aspie thing as it had a few half truths exaggerated... as my daughter said right after that episode " sometimes people have to laugh at their fears first in order to accept them." Wow I was blown away by her wisdom :)

S said...

Thank you for writing this post. I can relate to almost all of this although I am an INFP. Currently, I am reading a book called "Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope" by James T Webb. It is a very good, detailed book and addresses many of the issues that you have raised in this post. In fact, while reading this book, I could gather many insights into why society works in a certain way and why an idealist mind works in a different way. It answers many of the "whys" or paradoxes that plagued me as an INFP person. This book is a great guide with many coping skills.

Kmarie said...

S: I could see how INFP could relate to many factors even though our functions are different and how we work out of the world- for instance your co pilot is authenticity and mine is harmony... Actually we share zero cognitive functions.... (There may be no two types mistaken for each other more than INFJs and INFPs. And while they may look similar from the outside, they are very different creatures inside. Add to that, INFJs and INFPs are two of the personality types most interested in personality psychology, so an incomplete understanding of how these two types are differentiated can cause a lot of personal frustration (not to mention internet arguments!)This article is intended to be a deep-dive, side-by-side comparison of their similarities and differences.)

I think what you are relating to more overall is actually the fact that we are both HIGHLY IDEALISTIC types and also sensitive and also our aspie selves that you and I share. WE are very similar in many ways of thought because of these factors:) Which is why the book you suggested sounds so very good for both of us!:) It sounds so familiar so I will have to look it up an see if I have read it and read it if I have not. It sounds up my alley! You are always so good at enhancing a topic with more sources! Thank you.

Kmarie said...

G- Also let me know if you get to the 4th season let me know...the third season has some of the best episodes...but the 4th season is NOT that great at first....many fans quit in season 4 but I am glad I stuck with it because later on there are some great episodes and season 5 and 6 find their groove again with a lot songs and themes I am glad I didnt miss. I still FF most of the beg of season 4 just enough to get by and know what is going on...there are a few gems in it...but the rest of the seasons are good:)

Kmarie said...

In season 4 I find there are better songs and the stories feel more like home after about episode 7 or 8 ish or so...and there are a few key's worth sticking with but it is not the best at first...