Saturday, April 26, 2014

Empowerment as Living Paradox

Approaching subject matter from a place of strength instead of fear is a lesson I am learning. Take food for can be a source of sustenance and pleasure. Food in my world, is glorious choice, something a lot of the world does not have. Food can be empty calories or full of nourishment. A crunchy salad is a nutrient based feast and a soft bite of steak is ecstasy. I have been too caught up in the "what if's" of food. I worry about what is reacting, what is making me sick, what I can't have, and what is full of toxins. While this is a needed stage of growth, I have thought enough on it. Four weeks is enough time to think about the negatives of food effects. Now it is time to focus on the beauty of the foods I KNOW I CAN have. This is empowerment.

Empowerment is seeing those who are mean to me consistently and not rivalling their bitterness. Yet, it isn't being a doormat either. Empowerment is keeping a healthy distance, giving zero information and respecting my own self. It's not giving people who think they know me to have a chance to stab in the back. It's about being a "Frenemie." Empowerment is realizing that "enemies" in family relationships and friendships can inspire strength when they trigger anger and sometimes the way I choose to react is an opportunity for betterment. I have written some of my most inspiring posts when I was livid with injustice.

Empowerment is choosing to surrender to the words, the silence, and all the range of emotions when the moment is right for you. It's about not being held down by a certain image or reputation. It is about breaking through conceptions of self and others but also gently holding to certain core truths.

Empowerment is singing in the dark, realizing you are scared shitless, but singing anyway. It's about choice. It's about lighting up the world yet accepting the dark when shadows fall. It's about loving without fearing loss. Empowerment is being brave when nothing is working out the way you want. It's about living joyfully even if you are not at your goal weight, your goal persona, your dream career, your searched out image, your ultimate sign of spirituality, your ideals of friendship or if you're not at your intellectual capacity. It's about now with core strength. It's about seeing weakness as a symptom of beautiful, humble power. It's backwards power...not the type idealized by this world with falsity and fakery. It's the type of power that comes from embracing shame, accepting weakness, and loving NOW. It's about messy humanness and GOD given breath all at once. It's being at peace with the dichotomy.

Empowerment is LIVING paradox.

May you live from a place of strength 70 percent of your day and forgive yourself for the other 30 percent, accepting that in order to be empowered there has to be moments of being without power.

*Both of these songs give me goosebumps and Paul Brandt's video induces teary eyes:)


Anonymous said...

Dear Kmarie,
I can hear you.
When I first started changing my diet/food habits to reach my fitness goals, I never thought I could carry on this far. But after many years of many trials and errors, I reached a place where I am very fit today -both physically and mentally- maybe, currently I am at my "fittest ever" form. Sometimes, I gave in to my cravings- sometimes, a lot !!
As an emotional person, I depended on unhealthy but tasty food to control/suppress my emotions. Yet, when I become aware of "this dark side" of mine, I soon control my cravings and go on a healthy diet and reach a balance.
So, this is how I would love to define empowerment- full of fears and apprehensions-yet a subtle faith working underneath it...that faith in myself keeps me going.
About empowerment in family situations and relations, I feel that when you realize that you can do better without anybody's support or anybody's criticism-that is what is I call empowerment.
When you realize that you are finally empowered, you do feel very alone...because probably you might have have reached in this position all by yourself...but so much worth it than being dependent and un-empowered/dis-empowered ! But this is how I would sum up the meaning of empowerment in my life although it may mean different things to different individuals.
take care,

Kmarie Jones said...

S: Glad you have found your balance! I liked your definition of empowerment:)
I agree about independence and gentle distance helping IS more worth it! It is amazing freedom! And the people who deserve to speak into our lives stay and enrich:)
Yes, it probably does mean different things to different people.:)

Anonymous said...

your words are inspiring... so much beauty and strength and wisdom.


Kmarie Jones said...