Friday, August 16, 2019

Soul Full Crossroads. Letting Every Day Magic in Despite the Accusation of "Privilege."

"The ancient mystics venerated the in between and the interstitial as places where possibilities overlap, creating the perfect petri dish for synchronicity and magic. These places are often called crossroads because there, instead of continuing on your current path, you could choose to make a hard turn and explore the unknown."- Maia Toll

Life is full of paradoxes and polar opposites. Within them sits the insight into the in-between spaces. This is where the magic happens in life.

I am both a minority in some aspects and a person of majority. I have been the sufferer of many conditions for decades but I have also been in phases of healing and vitality. I wish the world would listen more to the actual voices of the sufferers (Autistics for Autism, Lyme for Lyme sufferers, Bi polar for Bi polar ect. ect.) and I wish that professionalism would marry experience. I would love to see mysticism marry street smarts and magical and positive thinking to marry logical rationality. However, those are ideals and negate the yin yang of life. There is an ever present balance of darkness and light.

Maybe the world needs the left as much as the right? Maybe it needs the in depth mystics and rational logicians? The anti religious and religious? Obviously dangerous extremes need to be avoided but maybe by the basic respect to differences, we can negate most of the extremist mentalities? Because the full throttle mystic can be friends with the hard facts scientist, and they can mutually give and take perspectives, right?

Maybe this is wishful thinking and my ever "perspectives INFJ" talking? I have been accused of having privilege...and yes I do. But so do you if you are reading this. We all do. So let's stop throwing that word around. I am sick of it. What good does it give to the larger global conversation as well as the individual other than accusation, blame, judgement or shame...none of which make the world a better place. Responsibility is important but so is acceptance. Maybe slapping the "privilege" word in accusation at someone else is ignoring the fact that we ALL have issues, and one person's privilege is another's pain and the cycle could go on into the millions. Comparison is the thief of joy and living authentically. It is also unjust to compare pain, joy, the circumstances one is born into or lifestyles. I'm not saying that awareness is a bad word. However, let me spin it another way. If a doctor studies medicine but never practises it- how legitimate is their practice? They can't just be aware of all the maladies without living their part. They can't simply preach about what they have learned and negate treatment or giving out individual one on one care. No. In order to be a Doctor that makes a difference they must, through trial and error, endeavour to heal by the Hippocratic oath. Unfortunately, that often does not happen but ideally, that is the intent. They MUST LIVE their stories. They must BE and not just SAY. I would also assume that in order to give optimal care, they also need to take joy in their personal lives that they are given and endeavour to heal their own suffering as well. These practises will enhance their intuition in giving to others.

Working to improve life with responsibility and positive thinking needs to partner with allowing life to just BE and knowing your worth simply because you ARE. Polar opposites exist to balance the scales. I sincerely appreciate all those who speak up for the underdogs or those who have no voices. I have been that person and probably will be again. But the most important aspect of living is LIVING and sharing our stories with those around us. Mother Teresa once said, "If you want to change the world go home and love your family." Or plants, or cats or pets or community or garden or blog or home or whatever you have....Give it your best. Live it fully for those who can not, without guilt of your personal privilege, but then pair that with listening to those who come to you for aid or those who are silently requesting community on some level. Give when you can give. Take when you are allowed to take (with intent and awareness of course but let it be without constant self judgement.)

"In mythology, crossroads have a guardian, because major life changes often require the death of an old way of being and humans need guidance (or a trial!) to help them through this rite of passage. If you you were standing at a crossroads today, what you would be willing to leave behind to take a new road?"- Maia Toll

What are we, as a society, willing to leave behind? Our platforms to only be seen as aware, well adjusted individuals? Media is great if it's used for connective encouragement or knowledge or daily inspiration...but there is always the other side. What are we willing to leave behind individually? For example, I have been told I have "white privilege" (Which negates my Native/ Hispanic/ Romanian history, as well as the melting pot I am, as well as how I am often discriminated against because of how I can come across as an Autistic, even if my skin is mostly white or olive.) How does it help society for a person whom is white to go around feeling constantly shamed and guilty? Aren't we just perpetuating a previous cycle? Allowing a white person to be whom they are without throwing the guilt of history upon them (that other cultures are guilty of too by the way if we dig deeper. Although, yes, there are many LAYERS to this story.) is probably a better way of having them take a look at respecting every one else. It is NOT that simple. We need to dig deeper.

I have grappled with this topic for a few years since that accusation was thrown at me. It's not easy. I don't have answers but I do know whom I don't wish to be. That is a start. I don't wish to be unaware but I also don't wish to be constantly aware of every issue that in days before social media, I wouldn't have even known about. My brain can't handle that overload. I don't wish to be labelled an advocate anymore. I just AM and that includes speaking out for causes or voices unheard when it applies in my life. That does not make me noble. It just is. I don't wish to accept that I am only a victim of my privilege. My soul knows more. It knows I was both born into greatness and also had to create it with each year that passed. Much was circumstance that I am grateful for, but much was also learning again and again to BE. Failing. Reaching. Pausing. Giving. Taking. Savouring. Crying out. Days spent in bed. Days spent euphorically living it up. It is all there. Within.

I also know the basics of what I want. I want to live the enchanted aspects of life. I want to reach for the magic in the every day and be grateful for the flower upon my path or the deep breath of rain. I want to take responsibility for my story and the stories of those put into my care for Seasons. I want to see beyond, into the depths and not just swim in the shallow end. I want a rest from all my thinking and will gladly take it sometimes. I want to not feel guilty for these phases because I know that I will find re balance. I want to continue to trust myself and have the few who know me to trust me and not question my journey either. That's the rest of the world's job and I will gladly ignore it for the most part. And when I can't I will write a post. Ha ha. I want to ignore the voices that do not know my inner workings. I want to be imperfect and make glorious mistakes while still striving to be a better human being. I wish to be on the edges of polarization while also re balancing. A paradox? Perhaps. As Walt Whitman said, "Do I contradict myself? Very well I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes." I will LIVE while I live. I want soul and multiple crossroads with an insightful guide or guides. I wish for my soul to be FULL of life. Soul full and overflowing on to others when possible and sustaining me when not. I want a bit of mystery thrown into the logic of life.

The herb "Vervain whispers of enchantment and worlds not quite seen. She'll teach you to see beyond the ordinary and help you explore the liminal lands of the psyche. Through her easy access to the in between, she can call in the medicine of plants not present, making her a must for a healer's garden...but remember, even though she is wispy, vervain is powerful: a sip of her tea is magical, a cup nauseating. Why? Because too much mystery puts us off balance; think of it as a-motion sickness of the soul. So let Vervain dance lightly on the edges of your consciousness, reminding of the infinite possibilities that unfold when you let magic in."- Maia Toll

*Quotes  from The Herbriary pages 153- 155. This is a beautiful book and it comes with inspirational cards to learn the Herbs with lovely illustrations. The first card I ever picked was Vervain- Let Magic In. It holds a special place in my soul.*

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and to illustrate the goals for my life I wish to share what I am already living and loving. I will admit I am in an excellent phase of life that I feel is well deserved or maybe not...but I am glad for it after some tough years...I have enjoyed some travels, re decorating, incorporating new rituals and letting go of others, savouring outdoors in a Canadian summer as much as possible, baking amazing gluten free lemon cakes often! and paying attention to the microscopic magic that is all around. But I will let the pictures speak:

The 4 pictures below I wanted to add thoughts: 1. Even if its contributing to my battle with wrinkles and showcases my weight gain to anyone who walks by, I spend 20 minutes every sun filled day laying on our front deck with as much skin soaking up the sun as possible. I feel the heat. Watch clouds. Think. Savour the warm feeling. Watch the butterflies and bees and listen to the birds chirp. I don't care if it's considered lazy, inappropriate or privileged because I have the time. I MAKE the time because it is a priority. In a place where we have Winter for about 8 months, I wish to spend that carved out time every day savouring the gift of sunshine. It heals in moderation and it comforts me and makes me better. 2.) My nephew showed up at my door so proud with flowers for his Auntie Kissa. He was in the store with my mother and insisted on buying me flowers, which my mom thought was too cute not to do so she gave in and bought them. He is adorable. I don't see him often and sometimes do not feel I deserve such devotion from him but he teaches me, as all children do, that love is freely given sometimes just because. 3.)This Celtic knot was found in the oddest place. It was in a Mennonite town and establishment. We went the next week to see if they would sell it but it was already garbaged. I was sad as I loved the beauty of the unexpected even if it was coming apart. I wonder how it got there and what it's story was... 4.) The man who works by my side to make our dreams come true. He works hard so we can have the life we lead in many ways. I appreciate what he gives to our picture. He is my soul friend. My Anam's not just my's also him and the children within it.

Song choice: Ordinary Miracle -Sarah McLachlan


Amy said...

K - I had come by to see if you had posted anything just earlier today! I miss your voice <3 So beautiful to read and I whole heartedly agree - so much polarity and paradox and abstract in this brutiful life, isn't there?

You said this:

"Working to improve life with responsibility and positive thinking needs to partner with allowing life to just BE and knowing your worth simply because you ARE." and everything in me stood and said YES! It's everything in the positivity, the taking personal responsibility, the allowing and embracing what is, while keeping our heart open and dreaming for more, it's that constant tight rope walk, falling off and trying again that we do with.

Also loved all your beautiful pictures shared here... I have missed you. <3

Kmarie said...

Aaaaaaammmmyyyyyy!!!!!!!I’ve missed you to in case it wasn’t just obvious
πŸ˜‚πŸ§‘ awe I’m glad you checked in and found my voice! And Appreciated aspects ects ❤️πŸ§‘πŸ’«it’s always a gamble putting things out there ha ha πŸŒ™πŸŒ»πŸ’«I’m glad you enjoyed the pictures! Yes to paradoxes! I’ve missed you and your pictures too πŸ§‘πŸŒ»πŸŒ™πŸ’«πŸ’•

Amy said...

<3 Love you! Think of you so often - as a matter of fact, I had a dream with you and your hub in it last night.. lol!

CalledtoQuestion said...

Wonderfully done. One thing I do know is that we are all privileged to be who we are and who we can become. Why do we worry about what others are when we really just all travel the same journey. It may look different, but when we begin to understand that all is one than the differences become none. And yet, once we understand that than we understand we are one and that the differences are majestic. It is that whole tight rope thing. I do know that I am absolutely privileged to have you in my life.

Kmarie said...

Amy; oh that’s halarious! Now you have me curious!
Philip;thanks love. Yes to the whole tight rope thing... I am privileged to have you in my life too and it’s not a bad thing at all ♥️πŸŒ™πŸ§‘πŸ’•πŸŒΏ⭐️