Sunday, January 8, 2017

The First Week of 2017, Patiently Finding the Good in All, La La Land- To the Fools Who Dream, Conceiving Purpose of Ideation, Strength and Cheerfulness.

With the first week in the pocket of 2017, the world is awakening. Many factors in life have stayed the same from 2016 which means there is pain and gradual decay, but hope is weaving through the masses. I can feel it in the air. For myself, my mentality was changing after our early Christmas and has continued it's winding journey through the last month, to a place I remember. A place I came to before tragedy and life struck a heavy hand. A place, which even though my health was declining and life was far from perfect, my mentality was living each day and being grateful for what I could within it. Taking the moment and sucking it dry.


Every morning I wake up to this sweet, wholesome and sun filled place of sleep which gives light, mellow purity, and cheerful beginnings to my day. I am trying to live out of confinement in thought and patiently find the good in all. To dwell in thoughts of beauty and purpose...I wish to conceive purpose of ideation, strength, cheerfulness, self control and gain in character and body what I have recently lost. It's time to wholesomely engage. This morning the light captured became my beacon. I wish to connect joy of being to waking up to this light through the windows. A pause. A reminder. To beginnings ... to enter the realms of strength where failure is the pathway to resilience and all pathways lead to attainment with the mental belief of purpose, energy and spirit. I know I can do this. We all can. Within our daily lives we can seasonably honour what we are.

Out of Confinement of Thought and Patiently Finding the Good In All

Despite the bad, life is better when I choose to see the good. Individual needs add to the collective. Thus honouring our context is crucial. Each day starts with a choice. Thus, intentionally soaking up the way the curtains capture the beginning day light, is one of the most important components of my day. As my limbs stretch and my eyes adjust, I patiently wait for the day to come to me. I allow a few moments, anticipation building, and I begin with gratitude. Even if I am in pain or know of those around me in pain, I start with this. I start with the sensory aspect of mellow purity that I am lucky enough to witness in a peace filled room. That is enough. Moment by moment. Dwelling in thoughts of beauty and purpose beginning with the dusty corners of the room or the way the blankets heavily cocoon my sleep filled body.

Conceiving Purpose of Ideation, Strength, Cheerfulness, Self Control and to Gain in Character and Body what Was Recently Lost

Much of the New Year is often focused on loss. Loss of weight gain, loss of the old year, loss of possessions to clean out the old, loss of the christmas tree decor...Not that these are bad things within themselves, but I would like to start out my year with gain. Abundant attitudes toward all that IS. A wish to wholesomely engage instead of wishing to be in a place of scarcity. Purpose of ideation comes from innovation, to development, to actualization. I wish to start with the foundation of innovation and idea. To seek out the wisdom in the daily and the collective of the ages.

For myself, this means taking the three ideas following and blending the balance of them together. Mr. Money Moustache wrote about staying fit without a gym in sight, and amongst daily life mentality HERE. Because it doesn't fully suit my chronically ill self nor quite mark the goal of life I wish for, I am taking his concepts, applying what I can, and gently releasing the rest, thankful for the bits of wisdom I gleaned. The balance to his post is found HERE. It is true that sitting all day can shorten life and lead to disease. At first I panicked at this. Yet, in the article sourced above, the solution is simple. Stand for two minutes upon every hour, get at least thirty minutes a day of some form of exercise...chores count, walking counts, stairs in the home are fantastic. Both articles focus on what can be done at home. Both celebrate the human body in the various forms we can handle. Pick your balance and take yourself to strength.

My focus can never be on weight loss. It has been for the last half a year and my life went steadily downward, as it tends to do, when that is my focus. My focus needs to be on building muscle and hardiness. A lesson I seem to have to learn over and over and over again. Which I accept as part of my necessary cycle. Tis neither bad nor good to have to re learn. It is what it is. When I combine the principles I can from the articles above with my strength building physiotherapy and healthy (yet not obsessive) diet, I allow self control. I gain in character. Maybe I may also gain in body? But if I do, I accept it as where I need to be, if I am cheerfully trying to control what is in my realm to control. I have read THIS post over and over in the last week, soaking it in to my marrow and memorizing the important philosophies held within. 

"I am psyched because I am a new kind of hottness now. I cannot condemn either of my body types. One was perhaps less healthy for my particular biochemistry than the other, but millions of women around the globe have both of them. And they were both my own, and I loved them dearly.  This is a very important point. We look around all day at myriads shapes and sizes, and we do not condemn ones that look different than our own. So why get upset when we start to look like one of those other bodies? We cannot forget that looking different is not bad, it’s just different. So I have elected to be psyched about being in a new body, rather than fighting it. It’s different, but it’s not worse. I only have to remind myself of that fact. (I know that I still am not overweight by any means, and that I cannot speak to some of the more challenging health gains and body image problems out there in the world. Nonetheless, we all exist in our own bodies, and have our own insecurities, and fight our own set of demons, and must learn to love our bodies no matter their particular shapes).
I am psyched because I am doing the healthy thing. This one is obvious, but always bears repeating. If this is the size my natural body demands, then why the hell resist it?! Seriously. Why!"- Stefani Ruper 

In short, I am actively trying to gain spirit and resilience instead of loosing weight even though I am not at my previous ideal...just like I learned a few years ago, I am relearning the same lesson. I am actively trying to gain self worth, self belief and self love. I also wish to gain in character what I need to thrive. Part of this is honouring my personality. I recently read "The Childhood Struggles of Every Myers Briggs Type" (CLICK). Even though I know most of my personality and that of my children, I was in awe of how accurate the childhood struggles and needs were. What ensued was an hour long discussion with my husband on how we can meet each of these unique ( and sometimes opposite) needs of each child along with our own. As I have mentioned before I am an INFJ, Hubby and youngest are ENFPs, my other son is an INTJ and my daughter is an ENFJ. In each description the sometimes opposing needs are difficult to hold on to. Yet, the key principles also lead to a gain of character and inspiration.

To Beginnings ... to Enter the Realms of Resilience where Failure is the Pathway to Strength and All Pathways Lead to Attainment with the Mental belief of Purpose, Energy and Spirit.

Before Star Wars became a part of my life in grade five, there was every 1935 - 1970s film I could get my hands on. So when I was given a choice of what movie to see in theatres between La La Land or Rogue One, my gut picked the first. Carrie Fisher's death gave me pause and sadness but Debbie Reynold's death tore a bit of my heart out. I love Star Wars and am truly a geek about it, but the truest part of my heart belongs to pictures that had whimsical dance scenes, whistles during songs, romantic backgrounds, and lovely music. My childhood was spent escaping into these. When I wasn't watching, I pretended I was in them. 

I spent hours daydreaming which is a NEED and not just a want for an INFJ to stay sane. Frank Sinatra, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Catherine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Debbie Reynolds...the list goes on, but these actors felt like childhood friends. I was incredibly happy in my childhood because of these inspirations. In each film, failure was the pathway to strength even if it was a sad lesson. For example, in the long Barbara Streisand film, "The Way We Were"  I was depressed and never wanted to watch it again, but at age nine, I already knew the lesson clearly outlined of the choices made for the sake of dreams and ambition. I wanted to make sure in my adult life that I didn't choose what she did. I wanted long lasting love. La La Land was mesmerizing, dazzling and gorgeous. The best film I have seen since Midnight in Paris for inspiration and beauty. I would go again to the theatres to watch it, which says a lot. 

"La La Land" had tones of old film classics like; The Way We Were, That Thing You Do, American in Paris, Hello Dolly, Midnight in Paris, Singing In The Rain, Anchor's Aweigh, bits of Fantasia, Philadelphia Story and Funny Face. It was a story where two endings co exist depending on choice. It's about dreams. It completely swept me away. In the song Audition (Fools That Dream) sung by Emma Stone, I was leaning forward in my seat, face lit up with inspiration and two tears leaking down my face. My family said I was adorable but my heart was pounding with a resounding YES! I was there, with Emma, singing my beliefs, gloriously alive. It was my moment too because I was transported.

"...Here's to the one's who dream. Foolish as they may seem. Here's to the heart's that ache. Here's to the mess we make. She captured a feeling, sky with no ceiling, sunset inside a frame. She lived in her liquor and died with a flicker, I'll always remember the flame. Here's to the one's who dream. Foolish as they may seem. Here's to the heart's that ache. Here's to the mess we make. She told me a bit of madness is key. To give us new colours to see. Who knows where it will lead us? And that's why they need us! So bring on the rebels, the ripples from pebbles, the painters and poets and plays. And here's to the FOOLS who dream. Crazy as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that break. Here's to the mess we make."- Audition/ The Fools That Dream

'Sky with no ceiling'... THAT is how beginnings feel. A sky without a ceiling is how daydreaming feels to me. My husband and eldest son loved the film but left slightly depressed. My daughter and I were on cloud nine despite subtleties of sadness, and it went down as our favourite movie in theatres thus far in recent years. We all chose what we took from it, just like we do in life, and activate upon that choice. 

I wish to capture feelings of beauty and dark and light. I wish to listen to the soundtrack over and over and suck out every succulent note of emotion. I have always resonated with the outcasts, the fools, the mad ones, the rebels, writers and those standing on the fringes of society. I need to honour my sparks of madness. I also know, without a doubt, that part of the world needs me. It needs me to write, not on a large scale, but for the few, whose perspectives need my own. I know that my bit of madness and beauty is needed. The world needs me... until my spark flickers. I would do it all again. ALL of it. I hope each person can feel the same. In order to feel this way though, I need to be whom I am. I need to be the rebel in thought, because that is how I conceive ideation of purpose. For more stable souls, they will need to look to conformity. For myself, purpose, energy and strength come from a place deep within. It starts wth an ache and often ends in mess before the beauty BECOMES. 

A pause. A reminder. Moment by moment dwelling in thoughts of beauty. Honouring my personal context gives inspiration to the collective. Some will see the feelings I capture while others will misunderstand or view it all as madness. But simply being, in all the individual, glorious context of YOU, IS the sunset inside the frame.

Here is to awakening, to dreams and choices, to you to me, to heartache and mess, beauty and rest. May you patiently find the good in all and conceive purpose of ideation of strength, cheerfulness, and actualization. Here's to the fools who dream.


 Song Choice: Audition- Fools Who Dream- Emma Stone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIo3RDs4xFI a gorgeous song worth a listen. Stunning. Just like the film  ( Ryan Gosling was Phenomenal ) which I hope to go to again but if you didn’t like the slower pace of Midnight in Paris or musicals at all- you may not enjoy it...

4 comments:

Emilee said...

I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling more hopeful! And ahh! LaLa Land sounds so amazing! I can't wait to watch it! Reading the list of classic movies that it reminded you of, reminded me of watching one (I think it was Hello Dolly) at your house! Although I didn't stay to finish it, that evening was so fun!

Kmarie A. said...

Yea I go through phases;) it was amazing! Probably one of my favourite films which is saying a lot. Don't expect complete happiness tho... I think I like bed it because it balances reality in with dreams;) oh yes Hello Dolly! I love introducing classics to people ;) it sucked that you had to leave but I'm glad u enjoyed it! I think we also watched seven brides for seven brothers in that time frame too? It was fun! I enjoy watching shows with you. One of my fav pastimes 😘Thanks for your feedback 😊

S said...

When you write, I feel that you are conversing with me. Your writing reflects my feelings which I mostly leave unexpressed in my daily life. Every New Year, I start very slow with caution and this year is no exception. As I am growing in age, I am taking everything very slowly. Weight gain is related to female hormones (in my case) so I try to eat well and walk and not care too much about my present weight except when it fluctuates too much ( on the extreme lower or higher side ) then I try to find out what is happening with my body. Although social/cultural conditioning sometimes forces me to think that I should look a certain way, yet my health has taught me to focus elsewhere i.e. on total well -being. Lalaland was a wonderful movie. I found it beautiful and emotional. This movie was very close to my soul ...it could express certain human emotions in such a simple way, without getting complex or overtly emotional ...I found it so real. Although it may be sad in parts, (I can feel that life too is sad in parts ) yet it was a happy movie too ( just like life is happy in parts ).People who live for their passion, single minded devotion to their passion and who live like simple souls- My kind of a life, and movie !!

Kmarie A. said...

Oh that is lovely to hear. I also felt that way when you take pictures or write. Yes slow caution...beautiful sentiment.
It was a lovely movie. I also felt it was close to my soul...and while I am happy for its success, I kind of dislike how everyone wants to watch it now due to the Golden Globes...I liked it being a treasure of beauty for those searching to discover...but its good too that more people are being exposed to its beauty. Yes I agree with the sadness and happiness... Beautiful. xoxo