Thursday, December 15, 2016

20 Blog Questions to Ask Yourself (and Others you Wish to Know) and My Answers To Them

It's nine days till Christmas! For a comprehensive list of my favourite Christmas albums, Holiday Dvds, Seasonal Blue Rays and Christmas Shows/Movies list click HERE. It's a handy list if you wish to get into the season.

I was sent a list of random questions and read more I liked on THIS blog, so I kept the ones that I felt were fun. Since I am an introspective type of person, I found them insanely easy to answer quickly. Plus, I am sick and can't concentrate on reading and a frivolous post is just what I need to write! What else am I supposed to do? Some of them were unique or fun questions that I will probably use with my children when we are bored while others were quirky, philosophical or random.

1. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self if you could:
I actually wrote a post when I turned thirty to my younger self full of advice I still hold to ( and maybe need to put back into my life again in the current season of struggle.) Found HERE.

2. What are five things that make you happy right now?
 Currently I am hoarding tissues and tea along with club soda, aloe vera gel, and disinfectant. Instead of wallowing in miserly misery I have decided these little things are bits of happiness I would not have had a century ago as a cold I guess that is what is making me happy? It's hard to find creative answers to this question after spending five days confined to my bed. I've been catching up on my shows, so I will also leave my five favourites on TV currently: The new show Timeless, the current season of Legends of Tomorrow, Once Upon A Time, The Flash (Again the newer season is FAR better writing this year and I like cheesy fun!), and Brooklyn Nine Nine.

3. What it the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
Yikes, that is a tough one. I could name a few off the top of my head; miscarrying and haemorrhaging, going through daily life not aware of my disabilities nor different brain wiring, getting the damn Norovirus flu three times and being in the hospital for that, helplessly watching my husband carry grief, a certain medical test I still don't want to talk about, allowing life to happen to my children, staying silent to ignorance because speaking would be throwing pearls at swine, yet wishing I could offer an alternative perspective....There is more but those are the immediate, less deep answers that come to mind. I've also had a pretty good life.

4. What are 6 passions you have?
I try to lay off of disclosing these generally as I used to put them out into the world way too I just write about them. Lucky you! Any reader could probably guess a few of my passions. Here are six: Improved Health Care and Patient Autonomy and Comfortability, Respect for different Wiring and Challenging Ableism, Education Being Completely Re Thought Instead of Dumbing Us Down (read the book), Women's Rights and Finding Ways to lessen Human Trafficking Which Goes Into our Own Mentalities as Well, Decorating and Creating Safe Homes and Spaces to Create a Better World, Challenging the Religion I grew up With and Making sure that Other Victims of Abuse in Religion Know They are Worthy Simply Because They Exist, and Personality Growth, Cognitive Functions and Basic Psychology.

I am a passionate person so that was hard to narrow down and I could go on, but if one would listen to most of my posts or conversations with my bestie, they would centre around these themes in general. Obviously, I am not including my main passions of my husband and children and those I love in my life on this list. That goes without saying.

5. Which Celebrity would you crush on, wish to spend life with, or find attractive?
The Character Blaine on Glee wins hands down...even if he was gay...I would still want to be his best friend at the very least. He is so cheery and well, perfect. Luckily the actor is my age so I don't sound insanely inappropriate...but Blaine wins.
Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth, Gene Kelly, Harrison Ford, Darren Criss's Character Blaine on Glee, Milo Ventimiglia's Character Jess on Gilmore Girls, and Christian Kane's Character on Leverage...other than that the rest of my list consists of women... Helena Bonham Carter, Haley Attwell, Jennifer Lopez, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Lana Parilla, Judy Garland...I could go on... In the men's case I am usually more into their characters that they play than the actual actors in general although they are pretty talented people. In the women's case, I am just insanely attracted to their beauty, charm and persona and wish I could emulate them even to a small degree. But if I had to pick just one to spend the rest of my life with (besides Blaine) it would be Chris Pratt because he is the most like my husband in face, humour, personality, and general life outlook. Chris Hemsworth's role of Thor also is uncannily like my husband. I had a friend that thought Thor was over the top dramatic and his personality made him even more unbelievable.  I pointed out that my husband has the same exaggerated gestures, booming genuine laugh, dramatic phrases (My husband has literally exclaimed even before that movie, "Another!" after drink),  deep voice, huge arm muscles and lovely smile crinkles. So I would chose either of those two IF I had to, because my husband is still the person I would most wish to spend the rest of my life with, but I would rather have him, the real deal whom isn't a celebrity, at the end of the day.

6. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Cooking. Life would be SO much easier if I could cook.

7. What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
 Patriarchy. Discrimination. Gas lighting. Medieval View Points. Blatant ignorance when the person disregards wisdom or intuition completely even though they have the privilege of learning a different perspective through resources available to them. Also, discrimination to myself and my family due to our differences on a personal level. Injustice in small daily acts in the name of God and Christianity.

8. If the average human life span was 40, how would you live life differently?
I wouldn't. I love what I wake up to every day- my children and husband. I would, however, try to find ways to manage my body issues quicker and a clearer path to health if I could.

9. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

10. What's something you know you do differently than most people?
Perspective taking. It blows me away that most people do not step into other's shoes and try to see how they see the world, their unique religion, their unique brain wiring, and try to respect it even if they may not hold to the same ideals. I thought everyone did this as I have done it since I was a child, but I came to only find a handful of people who actually practice this daily as I do. Most are Infj's or Intj's which makes sense as our main cognitive function IS perspective taking, but I find more than anything, this is a muscle that is exercised and I try to keep it in use...much to my own chagrin... as often I am thinking as my enemies or feeling empathy understanding why a killer made a choice even if I vehemently disagree I can get WHY. Most people don't get that.

11. What is one thing you have not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?
There are two things which come to mind. One is give a few people the full force of my rage and get justice back or maybe sending them, well many songs come to mind, and that would be a ironically fun way, but there is no point in that and it wouldn't be as fulfilling as I imagine. The second is having a long chat with a high school friend because there is so much unresolved there...but again, because of the people we are, it would most likely be more complex than either of us would desire. Plus, life moves on. In both cases, being held back is probably a good thing. Other than that, probably cook and drive without being dyspraxic but when life gives you lemons why wish for lemonade?

12. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Yes, the last two points above. Mostly they don't bother me but every now and then I actively need to let them go ...until they pop up into my obsessive mind again:)

13. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
 I know which one I am and which one I wish I could be...

14. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes, that is always my rule but I have come to learn that it's not necessarily the type of friend my friends always want to have. For instance, if I loved to give gifts, another friend may view that as stressful to live up to or it may not be in their love language thus I can not expect them to be that type of friend back to me. It's unfair. And vice versa. Or another example is that I like my space. A lot of it so I give others a lot of space in general, to which I find that they think it is neglect. I am working on not just being the type of friend I would like to have, but being me, yet being willing to learn and grow with the people I care about.

15. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
What is truth? lol.

16. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?
 The later is profoundly worse as I already forget most of my memories unfortunately...but life is still good.

17. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Famous would be my worst nightmare so, no. I get leery when this blog gets a certain amount of hits...especially the spammy ones from Russia...Ack! Anyway, I don't understand the lure of fame at all. I am glad some people like to entertain enough to be famous as I enjoy all forms of human beauty on the screen but I would never want fame. Yuck and yikes. However, I am a little vain and my looks have taken a hit in many areas as of late, though I am ok enough and never was an extreme beauty, but if we are talking about magically waking up more attractive but living till 80 instead of 90- heck yea I would. As long as I didn't have to have surgery or work out a lot or starve myself...then yes. ha ha. I guess I am not overly ambitious about beauty...

18. When was the last time you marched into the dark with the only soft glow an idea you strongly believed in?

19. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
 Well, lately I have felt like I am just being alive with all my health complications and it sucks. I hope that changes and I do what I can. But I know what truly living is and the writers of most of these questions on this list wrote an excellent blog post about it HERE. I HIGHLY recommend the read. It's INFINITELY better than my post...and I actually agree with it all too which is handy for me:)

20. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Sigh. Five minutes ago, every day... Just now. I kind of wish I wasn't so aware...and also that my breathing wasn't so stuffy...

What about you? Pick one of your favourite questions and answer by email, comment or text if you know me:)
Happy Holidays!
Song Choice:I thought I was maybe going to write another post before christmas but due to scheduling that is unlikely so here is one of my Christmas oldskool favs I find calming::


S said...

You have written such an honest post. I guess, honesty and authenticity is what we stand for.
From you, I have learnt a lot about myself specially about the aspie brain. My entire life (half of it, actually ) was clouded by confusion until I discovered your blog. Till this date though, I aspire for certain "normal" things which I should just let go. Cooking is not a very big deal for me but I crave for other "normal" things sometimes. Like the ability to be perfect in whatever I do. I crave perfection. Not to impress others but to reach my ultimate potential. Yet perfection gives me stress. Although I am simple, yet I like to be perfect. That is my biggest lie/contradiction. Slowly, I am trying to come in terms with my abilities because when I cross my ultimate threshold in trying to be perfect, I burn out and become a different person altogether. A person who is not me.
My passion is creativity in any form. I also crave for peace, world peace and individual peace. In fact, Peace and Creativity along with Nature and silence are the four most important aspects of my life and my soul. I think that you are already surrounded by nature and silence in the place where you stay. But for me, having lived in big cities for quite a while, I want to retire in to a very small,peaceful and green place if possible.
For you, it is Chris Pratt, for me, my crush is Christain Bale. its a HUGE crush !! Any guesses what Bale's mbti personality is ? If you know, please tell me :))
Being alive vs. truly living- it comes to me in doses and seasons. That is why I take my "truly living" seasons very seriously !!
About friendship- I have discovered that most people have very different requirements from friendships and I do not fit into that. I prefer long distance, online friendship where we are in touch once a week or once a month or something of that nature. For some reasons, I do not like a friendship where one is very dependent on the other because once that dependency ends and the friend gets a new friend/ goes away to a new place, they forgets you.
The hardest thing for me has been my illness. I do not have a support system except my hubby( because I stay far away from my family and friends) when I fall sick. So I have to take care of myself all alone and with the help from my hubby only during those days. God forbid if my hubby has to go for a work related foreign tour/ official tour, I am left all alone.That is hard but that has made me somewhat stronger also. This hardest thing has also taught me to be less emotional and draw boundaries.
Anyways, thank you for writing this post and I hope that you will be able to cope better each day. Sending my love and prayers,
take care,

Kmarie A. said...

That is one of the greatest compliments anyone could ever give me! That I helped them find their selves...not myself but their own self enough to feel worthy, and less confused and less shamed so they can do life within what they are capable of! Huge! Wow thank you so much!
Lol yes to honesty and authenticity and harmony. Its why I preach on boundaries so much- because I find them hard and I didn't have them mostly until I was 25 and they are still hard for me to implement but always worth it.
Sometimes we have inner dualities that we just have to work within and accept. But yes it is important to let go too.
I have never really watched any Christian Bale interviews ect so I would have a tough time typing him in general. There is a speculation on most sites that he is an ISTP but I dunno. My sister loves Christian Bale too.
I am the same with friendship and that echoes most of my preferences too!
That is really hard to have to take care of oneself if hubby is gone. I am lucky because I have my daughter plus some family plus a friend who really step up to the plate and I can't imagine not having that network although it does require its own set of boundaries on both sides. I hope you always have someone to be there for you. You are an amazing soul. I always appreciate your voice in my life.
Thank you and I hope the same for you.

S said...

Thanks Kmarie for the feedback. Thanks for the Christian Bale info ! Glad to know that your sister loves Bale ! Reading your posts always makes my life more meaningful. Keep writing !

Ashe said...

I would have been surprised if decorating of some sort didn't wind up on your passion list. You always pin such pretty things on Pinterest, and you have a lovely home too. :)