Sam has been a long time blog friend. She has been a sort of accomplice to me in discovering all things Aspie on my journey. She was one of the first Aspergirls on the net that I connected to. I am often slack jawed at her accuracy of relating an experience very similar to mine. This is rare in my world. She also is great at making lists that are to the point but full of descriptors that help friends and family to side step ableism.
This post https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/10-myths-about-aspies/ had me nodding with every word. My two favourite highlights are below:
"Myth #6: Aspies Need to be Taught by Non-Autistics How to Be in the World -There is nothing more insulting to most Aspies than another’s assumption that we need to be taught how to be in this world. Adult Aspies have taught themselves how to survive from a young age. We had to. We had to learn, imitate, and get by with our building skill set. We don’t generally welcome or appreciate unsolicited advice, nor do we have fondness for others who think because they hear a label that they know more about us than our own selves. We learn the best through self-study and through the companionship of other autistics. We learn the best when we aren’t preached to, told what to do, how to act, or set up for failure by mainstream’s expectations that we should somehow mold ourselves into being someone else." https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/10-myths-about-aspies/
This is the bane of my existence and has followed me through out life. If someone will try to do this to me it is guaranteed that I will walk away or become a tad hostile. I am not easily influenced. I find that I have survived and mimicked and become more appropriate than most "normal" people in most situations. I know more about myself than most do and find the fact that it's assumed otherwise to hold the greatest point of contention for me.
Myth #10: Aspies Long For Attention - We sometimes share a lot about our struggles, about our autism, about our Aspergers. We might write blogs or share posters on social networks. We might advocate or speak publicly. We don’t have a choice anymore, because others who aren’t autistic have been largely speaking for us. And the information that often rotates through the masses is inaccurate, misrepresented, and/or stereotypical regurgitation that is outdated and false. We get tired of being told who we are and what we are and how to treat us and fix us. We don’t think we need fixing. We think others who lie, deceive, manipulate, and purposely hurt or ostracize others are the ones that may perhaps need counseling. We find our ability to maintain laser-sharp focus, to accomplish large endeavors, to create in a new way, and to find answers no one else knew were there, amazing! We appreciate are often off-the-charts admiration and adoration of nature, music, and animals. We appreciate those of us that our poets, those of us that our philosophers, those of us that are comedians, those of us that are scholars, and the like. " https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/10-myths-about-aspies/
I used to get this a lot...the assumption I wanted attention simply because I shared my interests or spoke up for my rights or others. Now, because I have stepped out of so many forums I am probably accused more of selfishness, which I also know to be untrue, but I find it interesting that sharing equalled needing attention from others. I also find that this happens as an accusation because we make interesting or counter cultural decisions that most view as attention seeking or reactionary...however, because our brains are different (mine with aspergers and my husband's with ADD) our reasons are often different then what the majority assumes.
Self advocacy specially falls into this category. It's fine for parents of disabled children to have blogs and speak about their "tough" times or the issues but it is not ok for a person who actually has these things to tell it like it is. This is less accepted because it comes from the cultural context of disbelief that a person with these conditions can think, tell the truth, write, express or be reliable. This fact shows how far reaching ableism is in cultural mentalities. Self advocacy is frowned upon yet it is the most needed form of advocacy in any brain difference to combat ableism. I don't always write a post on Aspergers because I simply want to, sometimes I HAVE to because I want the world to be less ableist for my children and future generations. I am also sick of the condescending way brain differences are viewed. I despise attention unless it is from my husband or children or in a needed situation. I like to be in the background observing so I am glad Sam addressed this accusation.
The other ten myths are point on as well. I hope you check out the link. Thanks Sam for putting time and effort into combating myths.