The SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE- Author Unknown. Found in "The Not so Big Life" by Sarah Susanka;
"1- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than act in response to fears based on past experiences.
2-An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3-A loss of interest in judging people.
4-A loss of interest in judging oneself.
5- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
6-A loss of interest in conflict.
7-A loss of the ability to worry ( a very serious symptom)
8-Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9-Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature.
10- Frequent attacks of smiling.
11- An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
12-An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it."
Peace is a state of mind and a state of being. It's also elusive at times. Don't feel too much guilt if this list is not exactly met by you. "As you read this, you may be recalling that first event in your life when you were aware of loosing trust- in an adult in a friend, in your circumstances. These things happen to everyone. It's inevitable, part of being alive. But those events aren't who you are...you are still who you were before those events. You simply received a shock that changed your experiencing of life. But it also fuelled your growth, allowing you to become who you are now. We are so used to thinking of things in terms of right and wrong, good and bad, that it's hard to fully appreciate that your experiences don't define you. You are much, much more than their sum. Those experiences are nothing more than what happened in a past scene in your movie. They are memories, and so be definition they are not here and now. When you can truly see this, you can begin to reconnect with your original self, the belief that no matter what happens you are always supported; you are never abandoned. And the way you know this is that you are still here now, still experiencing life, and still aware. That awareness never goes away- at least not while you are awake,"- Sarah Susanka (Emphasis mine* pg 196 Of the Not so Big Life.)
Lately, I have lost trust in people and circumstances...it was inevitable. It has been a journey to find steady ground again. The above quote by Sarah Susanka (home designer- check out my library for resource links) encouraged me to not take this season in my life as a marker of who I am. I have experienced several shocks to the system. I have yet to see the growth that is going to come out of it, but judging by past experiences, eventually there WILL be growth. My movie has yet to finish. Better yet, my life can not be captured by a film...it is better and worse.
Once again I am hoping to reconnect to my former self. I hope to find my inner peace again. Until I do, I hope that I will be gentle with failure. It's important to give grace to the parts of the journey that are messy. It's what I would want a friend to do. So perhaps I need to apply that knowledge to myself?
*IF you liked this post I would HIGHLY recommend this one: http://worldwecreate.blogspot.ca/2013/03/suggestions-to-meet-desperate-or.html